- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2016
Hi. I am new here. I have been lurking for several months but finally decided to post because I am at a complete loss in regards to my wedding. I am an older bride (I’ll be 42 on my wedding day). My fiance and I have both been married once before and each have one child….he has a 14 year old son, I have a 13 year old daughter. Our story is a little convoluted, but figured I’d provide (abridged) background for context. Here goes:
Wade and I dated nearly 20 years ago for several months and were fairly serious. Our parents were best friends for years and he and I knew each other and were friends for several years. Although we went to the same high school, we didn’t know each other at that point in our lives; he is 5 years older than me and we didn’t really become friends until I was in college in OK and he was living in GA. After college, I moved to Los Angeles and he remained in GA, but we eventually struck up a long-distance relationship. It was difficult with the 3 hour time difference to remain close (there were no cell phones, Skype or texting back in those days….) and eventually we had a nasty break-up in Las Vegas on a family trip out there for SuperBowl. It put a rift between our parents and although they stayed friends, it was never the same. Wade and I lost all contact except for updates at family dinners. Life went on.
20 years later (Sept. 2014): I come across Wade on Facebook and just post a “hey old friend….hope you’re well. Give your family my best.” He immediately jumped on my message, contacting me, and as we reconnected by phone a day later, the 20 years melted away. We began speaking by phone daily, etc. He flew me and my daughter out to GA (we live in TX) at the beginning of last November, and after a weekend of catching up in person, we both realized we still felt the attraction and within weeks we had struck up a long-distance relationship. Being MUCH more mature and having the advantage of technology and the ability to travel back and forth, we got engaged Valentine’s Day of 2015. We were (and are still) elated and our children also are happy and enjoy each other’s company. However, when I announced our engagement to my family, with whom I am very close, I was met with negativity from my mother, who never even said “congratulations.” After several days, she finally managed a “your ring is pretty. I hope he doesn’t break your heart again.” My sister also gave me the cold shoulder and my father gave me a lecture….I think they all thought I was packing my bags, desserting them, and moving to GA. At the time of our engagement, we didn’t know the plans for our “happily ever after”, but over the course of the last year, it’s been decided that he and his son will move to Dallas (where I reside). My family has witnessed first-hand our love for each other and our parent’s friendship has also been restored. So all is hunky-dory as far as that is concerned.
So, what’s my problem? I wish I knew. I just can’t seem to figure out the wedding. At first I was hit with so much negativity, I was too depressed to plan anything other than the date (7/16) until my family “came around.” Then everything seemed over-shadowed by our family’s medical issues and nursing school (I have 2 semesters left) and wedding planning got put on the back burner. Finally, this past December, I began looking at small, local venues to hold a reception but immediately started having panic attacks (literally) while trying to put together details. I decided to just put it off. Now, I feel the wedding date looming. I actually feel that I would be fine going to the Justice of the Peace and having a family-only dinner party at a nice steakhouse, but my fiance and mother are insisting we get married by a minister, which is fine by me, but I just feel I don’t have any help planning this. The location of the wedding is becoming an issue. If we have it here in Dallas, it’s likely to be 40+ friends and family from my side and maybe a total of 6 from his, which I hate the idea of. If we get married in GA, it will be the exact opposite scenario. It’s going to be a smallish to very small affair no matter what we do. At this point I don’t even care. I don’t want any attendents other than my daughter but I just need some guidance. Or maybe I just needed to vent. I don’t know. If you read this far, thank you. If you have positive ideas or suggestions, I’d love to hear them. (Please no negativity.)
Thank you all again. It felt good just to get this off my chest.
- This topic was modified 4 years ago by bram44. Reason: spelling,grammar and punctuation