Lost One Of Our Cats Suddenly – Heartbroken & Not Sure What To Do…(LONG)

posted 1 year ago in Pets
Post # 2
Member
4886 posts
Honey bee

somedaymrsj :  Hmmm that’s tough. I’m so sorry for your loss how awful. 

Well I’m a person that feels that the cat chooses you and that could take awhile. I say maybe start looking for cats at adoption events and see if any of the kitties “clicks” as yours (with your daughter of course) if that makes sense. I’d maybe wait another week or two so the other cat isn’t in shock. So maybe split the difference 2 weeks instead of a month. 

Post # 3
Member
755 posts
Busy bee

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️

Post # 6
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I would wait until everyone in the family is ready to look for a cat with everyone’s feelings (including your other cat) in mind. 

You need to do what is best for the family as a unit. 

Everyone experiences loss in life, and it sucks, but unfortunately its a part of life. 

I don’t know if that helps. Getting another cat is a big financial and time investment especially a kitten.

I think your decision is wise and mature. And you should take as much time as you need. 

I don’t know if that helps…sorry Bee for your loss. 

Post # 8
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

somedaymrsj :  In my opinion, that is very good and logical thinking. I don’t know what I would do if I lost one of my babes I’m so so sorry. Hang in there as they say time heals all wounds. 

Post # 9
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s so awful. 

I agree with PPs about waiting too. Kittens can be a handful, so it’s best everyone (old cat included) is ready for it when you get one. Also I’d personally be worried about your daughter having an unhealthy amount of anxiety over a new kitten’s well being if you get one too soon. It’s great that she can speak to a therapist, because losing a pet you’ve had during your childhood is particularly rough. 

Post # 10
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Mexico

I think your plan of giving it a little time before getting the new kitten is wise and will better help your other cat adjust. Maybe let your daughter help brainstorm name ideas for when you get a new kitten in the mean time? I also think you made the right call with putting your other cat down. It sounds like your cat might have potentially had wet form FIP based on the symptoms you described, which there isn’t a cure for. I lost a cat to FIP a few years ago and from when the symptoms first started to show, she deteriorated super fast and it was devastating to witness her decline with no treatment option to cure it before I had to eventually put her down a few weeks later.

Post # 11
Member
4886 posts
Honey bee

somedaymrsj :  Oh yes definitely wait until you have the money for it. The initial visits and shots etc can add up fast! Hugs!

Post # 12
Member
6533 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

somedaymrsj :  First, I am sorry for the sudden loss of your cat.  Both of mine went abruptly when their time came as well (lung cancer for one several years ago, a dog attack resulting in paralysis for the other just recently).  It’s really rough when you aren’t prepared.  That said, I have never done well with losing a pet and not replacing it as soon as possible.  In my family I was always the one to say “when are we going to get a new ____?”  Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved all my pets, some probably more than my parents or sister did.  But I can’t stand that empty place where they used to be.  In the case of the cats, replacement isn’t an option: husband is allergic and while he adapted to them both, I promised I wouldn’t when their time came.  But even now, about a month later, I momentarily tricked myself into thinking a grey shirt was my cat.  And for a couple of weeks, every night when I came out to pump milk for the baby, I expected to see her there, smugly lying on the dog bed in our living room.  Man I hate that feeling and knowing it won’t be true.

Your daughter loved her cat, but it’s okay for her to grieve differently than you and not on the same timeline.  It’s okay to get a new cat for her sooner than you expected.  If you go that route, bring yours along to the shelter (assumption) and give him the chance to meet a new kitty and see how they do together.  It’s possible he will be happy for a new one, it’s possible he will not tolerate it well at all.  Better to find out before new kitten comes home. 

It’s also totally okay for you to tell your daughter that you made and agreed upon a timeline, life doesn’t work to her schedule and she’ll have to suck it up for a month because you and her dad still need more time.  It’s a good skill to learn.

Post # 13
Member
2500 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

somedaymrsj :  First, I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. Kitty sounds like she was a ray of sunshine in your household.

I’m coming at this from a pragmatic angle so please forgive me if this is completely off-base. Since you spent a fair amount of money on medical bills for your sweet kitty, maybe you and your daughter could work together to save up X dollars before getting a new kitten. It could be $100 or $200 or whatever, but having a savings goal gives you and your daughter something tangible to work toward rather than just counting down the days till 1 month has passed. There are many small ways to save or earn a little extra cash. Just a thought. 

Post # 15
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Gosh bee, I’m on the verge of blubbering reading your post. I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️

My fiancé and I adopted a 3 year old cat back in October. He had been bullied by other cats in his previous home so the rescue was ok with adopting him out alone (they typically required that there be another cat or dog in the home). By December we felt he might benefit from a companion because he is soooo social. But we knew we would need to pick the right companion for him and that it would take time. We met many cats and kittens, and didn’t find the right fit until May. 

I would task your daughter with research. She needs to research the right personality type (playful, shy, hyper… ideally you can observe a little of kittens and their interactions with eachother, or learn about their personalities from a foster). Also have her research how to properly introduce a kitten to your resident cat. Once she finishes her research, you can start looking for your new addition. I think that’s fair and helps prepare everyone in the home!

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