Lost One Of Our Cats Suddenly – Heartbroken & Not Sure What To Do…(LONG)

posted 2 years ago in Pets
Post # 16
6986 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

My heart goes out to you and your family. I’ve had several friends lose their kitty companions in the last few weeks so I’m really aware of the impact (it’s also been making me snuggle my cat closer because he’s getting older and I’m more aware of his mortality).

I think the PPs suggestion about going to visit shelters and being open to a new companion is a good idea. One of my friends was saying that she intended to wait before getting another cat and then had a strong feeling to go visit her local shelter one day and there was an adorable kitten who just spoke to her and had a similar spirit to the one she had just lost. She immediately started adoption proceedings. 

You may find that just having the project of looking for a new cat to focus on might be beneficial to your daughter. So rather than having to continue saying no, you can say, okay, we can start looking but we have to do this right.

Post # 17
226 posts
Helper bee

I just wanted to comment that I think waiting a month or so to adopt a new kitty is a good idea. 

First though, I just wanted to say I am so sorry about you being blindsighted at the vet. I had a similar experience with my cat. I noticed she was holding her mouth open slightly, my boyfriend thought I was seeing things. I took her in, thinking it would be a minor dental issue. My world stopped when the vet said it was most likely fatal jaw cancer. We only had about 4 weeks with her after the diagnosis, I couldn’t imagine how horrible it was to have to put your kitty down that same day. I want to say with as much kindness possible, you did the right thing, and thank you for putting your cat’s suffering above your own emotions. 

To answer your main question though.

I grew up in a household where shortly after an animal passed away (mainly rats, gerbils, fish, and hamsters, but we also had a kitten die from a fatal illness) my family would get another animal only a couple days or maybe a week later, sometime the next day. It wasn’t because we wanted to replace them, but more we were ready to add a new friend to our family.

I never had to deal with the feeling loss after the death of a pet, as we had a new one to fill our hearts and to love on.

As an adult, after I had to put my kitty to sleep, I was a massive wreck. I had raised her from a tiny kitten to a 10 year adult cat, and her loss destroyed me. I wanted so desperately to get another kitty to take the pain away but couldn’t because for various reasons. I stlll break down sometimes when I think about her and how much I miss her. It has been over two years, and the pain is still sharp. It wasn’t until a year after when I found a stray pet mouse who I adopted did the pain dull a little bit when I thought about her.

All that said, I highly believe not having to process grief from a pet’s loss as a child is why I have had such a hard time with her loss now as an adult. 

Waiting a bit, while it is hard now, I think will  be a better option for her in the long run in learning how to cope emotionally. 

Post # 18
936 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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somedaymrsj :  I’m so sorry about you’re cat I cried reading you’re story and I’m absolutely heart broken for you and you’re daughter ๐Ÿ™ I’m sending you good thoughts and lots of hugs bee!!!! 

Post # 21
395 posts
Helper bee

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somedaymrsj :  I am so, so sorry for your loss. We had the EXACT situation happen just a few weeks ago with my cat of almost 15 years. It’s almost like you wrote my memories with your account of what happened to your kitty. Sudden strange breathing, I took him to the vet thinking he had a cold or something minor, they x-rayed and found the poor little guy’s lungs had rapidly filled with fluid and he wasn’t getting any air. The cause was not able to be determined. Our vet gave the prognosis that he would not last through the night even if taken to the emergency clinic with round the clock care to drain the fluid. I had to make the hard choice to put him to sleep rather than let him suffer more and possibly die at the emergency clinic without any of his humans there with him. My mom and siblings were all out of town. Everyone was completely devastated.

My mom says she doesn’t want another pet until she’s ready and she doesn’t know if she can go thorugh the pain of losing a beloved animal like that again. I have a 1 year old kitten who I adopted 9mos ago (live w/ my FI) and my family will enjoy spending time with her. I think the right pet will find its way to my mom when the time is right. One thing that has helped all of us was looking for a little stone to put on his grave, and a special frame for his pawprint. Etsy has some really nice things that can be personalized with your pet’s name. I kept a toy of his, a little ball, and am going to make it into a Christmas ornament. Maybe doing something like that could help your daughter grieve the loss of your precious cat. Again I am so sorry for your loss. 

Post # 22
108 posts
Blushing bee

Maybe you can take prism’s cat off of her hands.  

That was a joke (or..maybe…?) but I am very sorry for your loss.

Post # 23
2349 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I lost my beautiful cat two years ago & I’ll forever miss him. Had him for 13 years & he was my best friend. I feel your pain bee ๐Ÿ’”. I couldn’t imagine getting a cat within a month but everyone is different. 100% believe a cat chooses you. 

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