Lots of negativity in these threads!!!

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
Post # 16
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Your post sounds a little condescending, like you have an idea of how the ideal woman should behave and are disappointed when someone who happens to be female doesn’t act that way. I don’t like the expectation that because I am a woman, I should behave by automatically being a sweetheart to other women. I want to be treated like a human being and I choose to treat other people like human beings. But that’s my choice. It’s great that you want to be nice to other females, but not everyone needs to live their lives that way.

Post # 17
Member
31 posts
Newbee

At the end of the day, I want people to tell me like it is and not what I want to hear. smile Otherwise, I’d go ask a family member.

If someone posts something that bothers me, I don’t intervene. Plus, feelings are all about perception. I have to remember that.

Post # 18
Member
9672 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

emmabird :  We prefer to be called “angry bees”

Post # 19
Member
367 posts
Helper bee

I try to be nice. You never know what kind of day someone is having and what can push them over the edge…especially if they’re obviously upset posting for help. 

Post # 20
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

Some people are very sensitive. When you ask strangers for thoughts about your life, you should know people aren’t going to feel any obligation to be careful with what they say. Also, women on the Bee can be under a lot of pressure and anxiety and not know what they’re doing is out of control. Just like a good friend who would look you in the face and tell you straight, most of us here are going to do the same.

Most take it well and are just looking for ideas, help, or even confirmation of what they already may secretly know. If you get upset by honesty and a fucking idiot troll, eh, sorry. I don’t know how to help that other than to adapt, or not be in the environment that makes you uncomfortable.

Post # 21
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Honestly, I have gotten some ‘tough love’ on this site that really helped me out. Soooo I think it all depends on how it is recieved, too. I posted possible bridesmaids gifts, and got a resounding “EWWWW OH GOD NO WHYYYYYY” so I stepped back, took the advice, changed my approach and ended up with something so perfect – even I didn’t think was possible. Yeah, it hurt my feelings that I have bad taste (lol) and yeah, some of the responses were harsh, but I also didn’t come here for a back pat and a lollipop. I came here for people to be honest. 

Post # 21
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Honestly, I have gotten some ‘tough love’ on this site that really helped me out. Soooo I think it all depends on how it is recieved, too. I posted possible bridesmaids gifts, and got a resounding “EWWWW OH GOD NO WHYYYYYY” so I stepped back, took the advice, changed my approach and ended up with something so perfect – even I didn’t think was possible. Yeah, it hurt my feelings that I have bad taste (lol) and yeah, some of the responses were harsh, but I also didn’t come here for a back pat and a lollipop. I came here for people to be honest. 

Post # 23
Member
624 posts
Busy bee

I like the honesty at weddingbee and sometimes the harsh realities. Sometimes it may be what a bee needs to get her head out of the mud and see things how everyone else does. Sometimes that means conflicting opinions and when you get multiple passionate people with conflicting opinions, its can get heated. 

Usually if someone makes a super rude comment on someones post then they are called out for it, unless it is warranted as some posts on here are ridiculous. 

Its an online forum and and unfortunately a post like yours wont change anything. 

Post # 24
Member
373 posts
Helper bee

Agreed 100% 

Honest and blunt advice is fine by me, but often bees speculate and judge to an extreme. My biggest pet peeve about the site is when people are rude without even answering the initial question! And clever insults seem to get extra praise, which just fuels it further. 

That said, I still find myself here. So… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Post # 25
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

“Goodness gracious” people come to these forums using their near anonymity to get desperately needed advice on topics their loved ones might be afraid to be honest about. Especially if in real life you are insistent on people being nice all the time, you probably haven’t gotten a lot of honest advice.

Post # 27
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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Post # 30
Member
9672 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

And I would like to say, I think the snark depends on the subject.

Lets be honest, a lot of these posts aren’t deep serious shit. It’s stuff like “My stupid Maid/Matron of Honor won’t fly me across the country for an all expenses paid vacation for my Bach. Should I end the friendship?” Which, threads like that, I expect a certain level of snark.

But in all my time on the bee for the most part I’ve never seen any of the bee’s being negative/harsh/mean on the really serious threads dealing with things like abuse, death, infertility, things like that. 

So really, I wouldn’t say that it’s a heartless place full of mean bitches. Yeah, it can get harsh sometimes but usually when people are really in a dark place and needing help everyone comes together and puts their snark aside. But I do think people have different senses of humor and sensitivity levels and that’s why some people get butthurt more frequently than others.

Post # 31
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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OP, you are right. Bees can get super Bytchy. Also, it sometimes feels like a gang up. That I don’t like. It comes across as bullying, and only weak women do it. It especially bothers me because I bet some of these same women are timid as hell IRL, and then they come on the bee to e-bully. 

With that being said, you can’t ever take any of this to  heart really. I’m sorry, no one across a screen and a keyboard can ever really knock me off my square. I orginally joined in 2009, and there has always been a slew of “mean girls”, but for every mean girl there are plenty of well meaning and caring advice givers. It’s an ebb and flow, and whenever I need good unbiased advice, I come here. 

Post # 32
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee

OP im gathering you didn’t go to an all-girls school did you! This forum has low level snark tbh.

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