Love after a sudden heartbreaking breakup

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
14 posts
Newbee

Hey there!

When I met my SO (together for 6 years), I was 22 and single for about two months and the last thing I was looking for was a relationship – but then I met him and it felt like coming home, althought I tried to deny myself any sort of romantic feelings in the beginning.

My last relationship has been an on/off thing for about 5 years, nevertheless I thought he was the one. He always wanted me back whenever I was alright again and then left me (everytime as soon as I thougt ‘this time’ everything was just fine) so broken hearted, that I thought I’d never be happy again.

So when I met my SO, he didn’t believe that he wasn’t just a stopgap and we started things really slowly. This was six years ago and I sometimes wonder how I survived this previous relaionship. (Funny thing – when ex heard that I’m happy again he texted me and wanted to grab a coffee, I then simply sent him a picture of our doorbell nameplate and he never tried to talk to me again)

Bee, don’t worry – you’ll find him, you’ll find that one and he will make you happier than you ever thought you could be, I’m sure of this. I found the love of my life after the guy who I thought was the one and it’s only now that I know, how real love in a healthy relationship feels. 

Post # 3
Member
10431 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You’re so young! I was around your age when my 7 year relationship ended and I thought it was the end of the world.

Considering i’m here married to a wonderful man, it obviously wasn’t. You’ll meet someone else and move on and be happy.

Post # 4
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee

I’m in the same boat as you. I just got out of a 2 year relationship.. thought we were gonna get married, went on two big vacations together one of which we just got back from a month before he ended things. I was tired of waiting for a proposal and he said we had hit a pleateu and didn’t have strong feelings for me anymore. Ouch.. it’s only been a month so I’m still really having a hard time with it, we own a puppy together which I kept and he hasn’t asked about once. I’m going to be 27 in October and I worry I won’t find a genuine Christian guy again either. It’s hard. 🙁 just wanted to say I’m here with you through this and I hope you do find true love where someone doesn’t leave you! I fear I’ll be scared the next time someone comes around too that they will just leave. 

Post # 5
Member
4953 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I got divorced when I was 22. 4.5 years together, married for 1, and he up and told me that he didn’t love me (and I later found out was also cheating). It felt like the end of the world. 

A year and a half later, after working on myself and being single (casual dating, but nothing ever went anywhere), I bought a house and moved 30 minutes north. 7 days after that, in the middle of running errands, I met my current Boyfriend or Best Friend and probably-soon-FH. 

I hated all the “you’re still young, you’ll meet someone else!” when it first happened, because everything I had worked towards for my entire adult life was suddenly gone and I was mourning a future I had spent so long building. But you will, eventually. Now is the time to be selfish, work on you, and do whatever you want. I went to Disney World by myself, just because I could, and went on so. many. vacations. I had a friend who lived near the beach, so I went as often as my work schedule would allow. So then, when I finally did meet a great guy, I was ready. 

Post # 6
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing this. Take it from me, I was in a relationship with my ex for 4.5 years and was already in the talks of marriage with both our parents being involved.

In 2014, when I just turned 23, on my birthday at 12am, he told me he loves me and he can’t wait to spend the day with me. Fast forward to 11am on that day, he suddenly said he couldn’t do this anymore and he broke up with me. On my birthday! So basically I spent my birthday crying and in disbelief.  The very next day, he brought another girl and shoved it up my face. So yeah, he cheated.

It took me 2 years to get over it. And I cried myself to sleep every single day and I was really in such a bad place that my friends started to worry about me that I would do smtg really stupid. 

I too worried I couldn’t find someone anymore and actually lost hope too. But just after that, just when I really got over my ex… came my SO. 

He is just an amazing person! And I just can’t wait to get engaged to him next year 🙂

Don’t lose hope. I understand that you feel that way now and it may feel like there’s no hope at all to find another person, but believe me… There is! 🙂

Stay strong and focus on yourself right now! Take this time to discover yourself and do things you always wanted to but never did. All the best!

Post # 7
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My most signficant relationship prior to my marriage lasted for three years before he very unexpectedly broke up with me via FB messenger and then didn’t speak to me again until a year and a half later. I was absolutely devastated and while I had theories about what happened, there was no closure at all and it was really hard to recover from. I was just about to turn 24 at the time. I dated off and on and then met my husband two years later–I have never once been concerned that he would do something similar or hurt me in any way, which was a nice change from the relationships prior. I still think that the ex who ended things was a true love, but that we can have more than one of those in a lifetime. I am unbelievably happy with my husband and wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for the ex, so there is a place for them both in my story. 

Post # 8
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

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fullofdreams :  You will be fine. You will be more than fine. One day, you will be happy. You may not even be with someone knew yet when this happens. Happiness comes from inside. 

I was you, and I still have those days. For the most part though, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and I’m not even in a relationship.

My ex broke up with me after 4 years saying that he wasn’t in love with me anymore either. I ended up finding out that he had cheated on me.

I was broken. More than broken. I couldn’t breathe for like 6 months straight. 

I dated a really nice guy for about 3 months a year after that long relationship. I realized I wasn’t ready, but it made me realize that there are nice guys out there.

While I have never loved anyone yet as much as I loved my first ex, I don’t miss that guy at all. In fact, I get excited about meeting someone special someday. 

However, once I could just be happy with myself, I didn’t care anymore when I would meet that special someone.

Not exactly an example you were looking for I’m sure, but just wanted to let you know that life gets a heck of a lot better! 

The more time goes by, the less I associate myself with my ex. He is just a memory now. Time heals all wounds. It really does.

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