Post # 1
I am engaged to the love of my life, only issue? His family. I am certainly not one to judge but his family is loud, uneducated, and rude! Everything my soon to be Darling Husband is not. I love him for his brains and his kindness but he does not get that from his family.. His mother is nice to me but what she says about other people is NASTY. I know she talks about me to Fiance when she is angry at me, putting Fiance in such a bad spot so unfair. She’s always nice to my faca but has such dramatic negative energy. His father is abusive to him physically and to both of us verbally. He is just all around a bad person, at least his mom has redeemable qualities. I really don’t want to marry into that family. I love him and want to start a life wih him so badly and I want to do that as a married unit but knowing that marrying a man means marrying their family just makes me not want any of my dreams. I think its not right that him and I wiukd throw away our dreams of having a beautiful life and family together all because I don’t want to deal with his negative family. i persobally struggle from a few disorders where it is harmful ti myself to be around so much negativity( it’s not good for any one for that matter!) I just want to be happy and well and I know everyone has in law issues but his family makes my skin crawl, enough for me to not want to marry him.
Post # 2
You’re not marrying his family.
They will not and should not be participants in your marriage. They’re family and you can choose when and where to spend time with them.
Set boundaries early on.
Post # 3
It also doesn’t hurt to move away. ijs
Post # 4
Yup, move away.
Does your husband understand your perspective? it makes it easier if you both view the situation the same. Otherwise you’ll be at odds With him and his family.
Post # 5
I think you are over-reacting. you are lucky enough to have found someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with, he feels the same and you want to throw it all away because of his family? Try being a little fair, as loug and rowdy his family may seem, remember they are the same people who have raised your guy which means they must have done something right to give you a guy like that?
It’s just a fairy tale concept where women get amazing inlaws. You are fortunate to have a man of your dreams right beside you. Don’t waste your life on being negative about his family. Accept them for who they are and be happy for what you have.
Post # 6
My family are loud, stressful, uneducated and sometimes rude. I sometimes have a lot of pain from stress of them. I am nothing like them I want completly different things getting educated even after a bad up bringing, negativity all my life etc. You say your Fiance isn’t like them either but you would go to the extent of leaving him because of them really? they are still his family and he cant change that. If i’m honest you sound so stuck up. Yes my family stress me out (which family doesn’t) they also stress my Fiance out, we have even talked about moving away. But if my Fiance was on here saying the stuff you are i would be seriously pissed. My advice, don’t let them get to you just let it go or let him deal with it they dont have to have anything to do with you only your Fiance if he wants it. Running away isn’t going to get rid of them. Also I try not to say stuff about my family to my Fiance as i dont want him getting stressed and that way I to can also forget about it when im with him.
Post # 7
My mom always said, “You don’t just marry the man, you marry the family.” It’ll depend on how far away you can keep them and if your Fiance is on board with that.
Post # 8
I think the whole ” you dont just marry him, you marry his family” really depends on the boundaries you and your Fiance will draw with his family. I can not stand my fiances family. They act like they are entitled to everything just because they have money and go to church every Sunday. His Mom is SO nice to my face but when I leave she bashes me to everyone.. including my fi. I do not come from a wealthy family and she has flat out said because I do not come from a wealthy family i will not be a good mother. She is just nasty. The best advice I can recommend is make sure you create boundaries now..