(Closed) Love Languages

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

I love that you posted this.  Such an interesting topic.  My Fiance always says that we speak the same love language which physical touch, (we’re very cuddly, touchy feely people).  But I think that people have more than one language of love and just adapt depending what relationship they are in, (I know in a past relationship, gifts was the way my ex expressed his love and I was fine with that).  But I guess in FI’s past relationship they were totally off on their language of love so to him it’s very important that we share the same language.

Post # 4
Member
497 posts
Helper bee

I show love to others with words of affirmation and physical touch.  I prefer to receive love with words of affirmation and quality time.

Mr Corn shows love to others with acts of services and prefers to receive acts of service.

Once we sat down and talked about this, things made much more sense and we are both aware of not only when the other person is trying to show us love, but better for each of us to try and show our love to the other person.

Post # 6
Member
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2005 - Westside Loft, New York

Here are my results!

Acts of Service – 12
Quality Time – 8
Receiving Gifts – 5
Words of Affirmation – 4
Physical Touch – 1 

Very much in line with what I thought.  As you can see…. Mr. Bee and I have opposite love languages! 

Post # 7
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Here’s mine:

Score       Love Language
   7          Words of Affirmation
   10        Quality Time
   3          Receiving of Gifts
   4          Acts of Service
   6          Physical Touch

Vs. my husband’s:

Score       Love Language
   7          Words of Affirmation
   7          Quality Time
   1          Receiving of Gifts
   11        Acts of Service
   4          Physical Touch

I’m not sure it if was just this quiz, but his results are different than what they were when we did this during our marriage prep class.  His results in our class showed his primary love language as physical touch…maybe results differ from pre & post marriage.

Post # 8
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Wow – this is interesting!  We are going to have to sit down and take the quiz.

Darling Husband loves to do things for the people he loves.  That’s why he’s the one who cooks dinner and does the grocery shopping.  He is really happy when I am super busy at work, or really tired, and he can go out and accomplish something for me.  He actually tends to get a little cranky when I do something that he considers "his" job.  He almost never, ever, thinks to buy me a little present, or flowers – except on my birthday, Christmas, or Valentine’s Day, when he goes all out.

I am all about the little presents.  If I see something I think a loved one or friend would like, I buy it (or order it).  Mostly these aren’t expensive things – just little things I think will brighten up someone’s day, and my way of saying that I was thinking about them.  While I don’t mind doing stuff around the house (laundry, cleaning) I think of it more as something that has to get done, rather than as my gift or service to anyone.

Luckily we overlap on the subjects of touch and quality time, although I think they are a little more important to him than to me.  He does sometimes have to remind me that we should sit down on the couch and have a glass of wine, or that I should wrap up whatever thing I’m busy with so that he can put his arms around me for a bit.  But it’s great at the end of the day to have an hour where we just sit together and talk, or watch a travel show, and lean against each other.

Post # 9
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

We overlap- we do all those things except for gifts- they cost $ and we’re trying to save!

Post # 10
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think about this kind of thing all the time! My fiance and I get along pretty well because we’re both all about touch (I scored second highest there). My highest scoring one was quality time. I scored lowest on gifts, but I would say that it’s probably higher than that; it’s just that my fiance isn’t that way at all, and I’ve come to accept that. I’m a big gift giver, myself. I’m always buying him something!

Post # 11
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My language is Words of Affirmation.  I read the book before the quiz was included in it, and really believe in not using the quiz to figure it out.  The author suggests looking at ways you show love.  I once wrote a huge list to my Darling Husband on why I love him.  I also was CONSTANTLY telling him how good looking he was, etc.  I couldn’t understand why that made him uncomfortable.  I LOVED hearing stuff like that from him and couldn’t get enough of it.  Finally- I read this book and it all made sense.

His is physical touch.

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