- 2 months ago
When my SO and I first started dating, he mentioned that his ex had complained that he wasn’t touchy feely enough. I joked that touch wasn’t his love language and he agreed. This didn’t sound like a problem since touch is lower on mine as well.
Since then, it has become super obvious that Acts of Service is his primary way of showing love which is fantastic because that is also my preferred way of receiving love. He treats me like a queen – driving over 12 hours each way instead of flying so I could bring my dog on vacation, bringing me coffee in bed, always stocking my favorite foods at his place, etc and I greatly appreciate it.
While Words of Affirmation has always scored low on my list of love languages, he has never and I mean NEVER complimented me, affirmed what I’ve said, or even asked too many questions about me. Its so odd since I have overheard him saying wonderful things about me to his friends but has never said those thngs to me! That added to very minimal touch, is starting to rattle me a little. Seriously, if he didn’t treat me so well, it would be hard to tell he even liked me! I didn’t think I needed kind words or casual touch, but it turns out I do want at least a little of both.
How do I communicate this without looking needy or like I’m criticizing him like his ex? It feels really uncomfortable to ask someone to say nice things about you! Any ideas?