Post # 16
There is a very good article published by the Atlantic about how so many people like you have totally misinterpreted the actual text of Chapman’s book. I encourage you to look it up as it is the most plain language account I have read.
I repeat again the love languages is about understanding the different ways to show love and not about dictating to your partner how they must show you love. @mtnester:
Post # 17
I relate. My SO shows his love through acts of service, and in the past I have always wanted words of affirmation. It took me some time, but I have just accepted him the way his is. Sometimes I ask him for some reassurance, and he always gives it to me (probably as an act of service, lol). I see all the things he does as examples of his love for me, and now I am totally fine with it. In fact, it’s a bloody good love language!
my previous husband gave me heaps of words of affirmation but did nothing around the house. Today my SO asked me for a list of jobs to help prepare the house for our second child on the way, and has worked diligently for hours.
I guess I’m just saying it doesn’t need to be a deal breaker! You can view things through a different lens and appreciate the love that you are receiving.
Post # 18
UPDATE: We spent time together this weekend and I’m very happy how things turned out. During a light hearted conversation, I joked that if he didn’t treat me so well, I almost wouldn’t know he liked me. He asked me what I meant. I said I hadn’t heard him say anything to indicate his feelings about me. He said he naturally wasn’t “lovey dovey” or “touchy feely” (he hates PDA), but he said very earnestly that he would try harder. He told me he thought it was obvious I was out of his league and he was just trying to figure out a way to add value to my life. I’ll take it! Thanks for all the advice, bees. I underestimated his reaction and I feel good even knowing that he knows and willing to try, whatever the results.