(Closed) love my hairdresser, but not for my wedding. how to tell her?

posted 5 years ago in Beauty
Post # 2
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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MissAmericanPie:  you can always say that your mom or someone surprise gifted you the hair and makeup services for your wedding based on another wedding you were in that you loved your hair…something like that? that’s what i would do. 

Post # 3
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - City Winery New York, NY

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MissAmericanPie:  I told my regular hair dresser I was hiring someone else because I was worried I’d become a Bridezilla. I just didn’t want to lose what has been a 10+ year relationship with her because I was snippy or bitchy. She totally got it and agreed. 

For what its worth, I think it is pretty normal to go with a non-standard hair dresser for the wedding. Even though I didn’t use my hair dresser, I still consulted with her on what looks best on me and she ordered the extensions for me, since she knows my hair so well. 

Oh, and I’ll just add that my regular hair dresser now has an 8×10 portrait of me hanging in her salon (the one in my profile photo) because she thought my hair looked so good. So, no hard feelings. 

Post # 5
Member
836 posts
Busy bee

You could always say, “so and so offered a great deal on a package and it fit into my budget perfectly”, and leave it at that. I am sure if she’s a mature professional, she can see it from a budgetary view, versus a personal style conflict. Still book appointments with her and don’t act as if you’ve done anything wrong, because you haven’t. 

Post # 6
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2025

If it comes up, just be honest with her! I doubt she’ll ask WHY you’re not getting it done at her salon/by her, but be honest either way. As a business, they would probably want to know that they’re losing business because they’re not offering what some brides want. It’s a valuable piece of information for any business owner! 

And she shouldn’t take it personally – wedding hair is one day, this is YOUR stylist. She’s going to be doing your hair for many years to come ๐Ÿ™‚ If you feel like the conversation isn’t going the way you want, change the subject and start talking about how long before the wedding you should be coming in for her to do your cut/color and what the last date she could make touch ups would be. Try to steer the conversation back to her and things will be fine ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I had this issue to as my regular stylist assumed she was doing my hair after I had already hired a company to do my hair and makeup and also for all the bridesmaids.  I wanted us all to get ready together and have fun.  My stylist kept asking what I wanted to do with my hair and I was afraid to tell her because she does great hair and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings or upset her.  I finally told her and said it was a gift from my mom/fmil.  She was actually really cool about it and took it much better than I had expected.

Post # 8
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - Ballroom

I have to give my stylist the “bad news” soon. I love her, and she does great work, but the prices for hair and makeup through her salon are cost-prohibitive to me and my bridal party.  I found another vendor who is much more reasonable in price, and have had a hair and makeup trial already.  She also did my makeup for my engagement photos, and she’s good.  If your stylist is a professional, she’ll understand the situation and if she values your business, she won’t make an issue out of it. 

Post # 9
Member
1808 posts
Buzzing bee

I like what Zoelalo said about indicating that it was a gift. I don’t normally advocate lying, but in this circumstance, a white one may be better than the truth. I had the same issue with my hair stylist. She has admitted she doesn’t do well with wedding hair. The makeup artist I contracted with from her salon up and quit. And the other girl I would have considered is out of town. The owner/my stylist offered to do my hair and grab one of the MUAs who would be on maternity leave (whose makeup style I don’t care for and I certainly didn’t want her to come off maternity leave for on-site wedding services–my life isn’t more important than hers). So I actually just told her the truth: that I wanted to explore my options and I hope she doesn’t mind. I also mentioned that I felt she did excellent color/cut services and I wanted to continue going there for those. She was very good about it (with me, at least–not sure if she felt differently than what she displayed, but I hope not).

Post # 10
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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MissAmericanPie:  ugh this was a situation I also found myself in, but I went a step further and had 2 trials done with my stylist and they were AWFUL. I looked like an old lady with a beehive, hard hair from all the spray and he teased out my curls so I looked crunchy and puffy. It was SO WEIRD- I dont think I’ve ever seen anything so horrible. When I would gently tell him what I wanted (I kept insisting to have my hair down, he would do some big hideous updo) and he would tell me that they could tweak it next time. He insisted on another trial and I kept making the appointment and he kept canceling. After that I just stopped calling back to reschedule and it was weird, and I haven’t been back to him since.

I would just be honest and say that you already had someone do your hair for another wedding you were in and loved the style and since they do makeup as well, it was easier to just book it all together. Blame it on your bridesmaids and say that some of them were also in that wedding and LOVED this stylist so they all asked you to book this person to do everyone’s hair. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  MissJulianna.
Post # 12
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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MissAmericanPie:  yeah i hear you. It is always awkward. I would consider telling her that it was a gift from the bridesmaids because you had mentioned that you loved a particular style she did for you for another wedding you were in. It’s always better to blame someone she will never meet lol

And luckily i didnt pay for the trials because he did the trials in exchange for me sitting and being a hair model several times.

Post # 13
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I have to agree that a little white lie is going to help preserve the relationship for years to come…. Saying it’s a gift, blaming it on price or distance…whatever you can will spare her feelings and ensure that you won’t have any “bleach accidents” before the wedding. lol

Post # 14
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

i aam a hair sylist and i have to be honest i am so tickled reading these responses

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