Love my in laws but need advice

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
5035 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

It seems this should have been addressed prior to the wedding and prior to your inlaws traveling to be with you.  In hindsight you should have made arrangements to allow yourself time to decompress following the wedding.  However, now that they are here I am not sure there is much you can do. Perhaps ask your Fiance to take over entertaining for a bit so you can step out for some alone t

Post # 3
1741 posts
Bumble bee

 morenike :  This really sucks. You should be starting your life together with your husband, not dealing with entertaining his family. I know they’re from out of the country, but post wedding time should really just be for the new couple. That’s what honeymoons are for.

Post # 4
257 posts
Helper bee

I dont think there’s a point in saying anything, all it will do is breed resentment and cause hurt feelings. they’re here for now, so its best to slap a smile on and deal with it. How much longer are they staying with you?

Make some plans for yourself that don’t involve his family and get you out of the house. I know weddings are expensive, but if you can spare it, go to a spa and have a relaxing few hours to yourself being pampered, it may help refresh you. Or, if shopping is your thing, tell them you’ve got some errands to run on your own and go treat yourself to some window shopping and lunch on your own (its surprisingly relaxing with a good book in hand!).

The other suggestion I would have is to make time for yourself, even if you’re at home with them. You dont’ have to spend 24-7 with them, you can go to your room and read a book or just tell them, I’m pretty tired today so I’m going to just relax and take it easy on my own. Maybe suggest that all of you go out for dinner after so a) you don’t have to cook and b) they won’t feel slighted that you’ve taken yourself away for a much needed refresh/recharge day.

You’re entited to time to yourself, one day isn’t too much to ask. 

Post # 5
62 posts
Worker bee

If they are here for a while then there should be no rush to bond, especially if they are staying with you. I think you should more or less carry on with life as normal. They will get to know you more authentically that way anyhow. 

Of course you want to be a proper host, but I wouldn’t go out of your way to dote on them. They will appreciate some time to themselves too believe it or not.

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