(Closed) Love/Hate Relationship with Valentine’s Day!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m starting to hate V-Day. Last year my Fiance (then boyfriend) and I were long distance due to me studying for my bar exam, and though he sent me the cutest gift, I was ridiculously lonely that day. I figured next year will definitely be better as we should be living together. Fast forward to this year, we are engaged but states apart due to work this time. The debacle this year is that he sent me flowers which didn’t come until 7 p.m. After waiting the whole day for them to come, when I open the door, the delivery guy tells me, “You can let your husband out of the dog house now.” I was so irritated by all of it I refused service and informed them we are canceling our order. Now I’m feeling guilty bc I yelled at my Fiance for spending money we shouldn’t be spending with the wedding coming up and being rude to a perfect stranger. *Sigh* I truly am starting to hate this day.

Post # 4
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

@vlbee:  Girl I so know how you feel!  I’m in the same boat.  I’m not a huge fan of valentines day because it is so commercialized and cheesy.  Nonetheles I have a very sweet husband that is making dinner tonight and I know he got me a gift.  We usually go on a wine tasting trip for Vday but not this year.  

But today I saw the parade of flower arrangements being delivered to our office and all the other cutesy stuff and it made me kind of sad not to get that. I know it’s totally ridiculous to feel that way because I know he is doing something and he is being thoughful but I kind of wanted that cheesy, cutesy, cliche bouquet you know?  I even sent him chocolate covered strawberries the yesterday so he should have gottent he hint to reciprocate :-/

So don’t feel bad or ridiculous. You’re not alone.

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

my husband never sees the value in flowers – its $150 for a dozen red roses and he’d rather give me a spa voucher for the same value. he has said he will never send me flowers

your Fiance is a do’er, he expressed his love by doing things for you – if you can get the book the five languages of love, i found it very helpful

Post # 6
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

@eloping:  I love that book.  But her hubby should show her his love in her language not his.  That’s the whole point of the book: identifying your partner’s love language and expressing it that way.

Post # 7
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@Meowkers:  yes, totally agree – forgot to add they should both read the book and do the exercises

my husband became a smart arse after we read it, he was “my love tank isnt feeling very full” for a solid week

Post # 8
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I take it back. Rereading my post makes me feel like an ungrateful idiot. I love my husband, even if he doesn’t look at holidays in the same way others might. He still is the most wonderfully supportive man to have ever come into my life, and 364 other days of the year tell me so.

Post # 11
Member
574 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Focus on your first sentence…
I am so lucky to be able to spend Valentine’s Day with my wonderful fiance. 

I could care less if I got a card, candy, or anything else on V-Day if it meant I could be with my man today.  Heck, I haven’t even gotten to talk to him yet today.  You ARE lucky, and I hope you cherish every minute you have with him in the same place.  That’s what it’s all about in the end, right?

Post # 12
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@vlbee:  totally understand, i cant figure out what goes on my husbands head some days

oh and the ONE time he did get me flowers, it was a potted plant and they were chrysanthemums which is the one flower in the world i hate/will never send because they are italian funeral flowers and he knows this. idiot i tell you – he said that all he saw was yellow and he knows thats my fav color

Post # 13
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We are long distance and celebrated Valentines a week ago, so I shouldn’t complain but I still felt pretty miserable, but other things were going on that were making me upset and I let myself wallow for a bit.  I’m feeling much better now and feel stupid for being upset earlier but *shrug* it happens.

Post # 14
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Have you ever said this to him? I feel like most women are socialized to never ask for what they need/want, lest they seem “demanding.” But men aren’t mind readers and he probably has no idea. This year, I’d just say thank you and be appreciate he was SO wonderful to you (because it sounds great). But if the cutesy stuff is important to you, say it next year. A week or so before Valentine’s Day: “Hey, honey… I just really love that cutesy Valentine’s stuff! You know…chocolate, teddy bears… it would mean so much to me if I got something like that from you this year.” 

Not so hard 🙂 I love getting cards for holidays and I used to remind my SO a couple of days before like “Hey hon, you know I save every card you get me so it’s really important to me for my birthday, even more than a gift.” Now that he knows I never have to say anything. 

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