- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
I just needed to vent. I’m a long time poster under a different name (I’ve been “outted” under my other name, which I still use for less personal posts). I need to talk about my wedding in a way that I don’t feel comfortable doing with most of my friends. The bees have always been so helpful and supportive, so I’m hoping some of you will get me here. The things is, most if not all of my friends loved their weddings – planning them, talking about them, everything about the day. I felt the complete opposite and still have a lot of stress about it, even though it’s over. I’m hoping talking about it will alleviate some of my anxiety.
First, planning the wedding was exhausting. We planned in less than a year (7ish months) so it was hectic and overwhleming. I was constantly researching things, contacting vendors, and dealing with all the details. It wasn’t fun. And no one helped me. Don’t get me wrong, the groom was involved and did what he could. Unfortunately he can’t do much personal emailing during the day, so a lot of the burden fell on me. Our families and bridal party did nothing. In fact, every one of them had some kind of problem or situation that they needed us to resolve. This just added to my irritation. Whenever I have been involved in a wedding (or even knew someone who was getting married) I always have done everything I can to help them and lighten their load. I was so disappointed that no one did this for me – even my own sister. Everyone was too busy to do anything…they even blew off coming to my dress fittings. So everything leading up to the wedding was completely stressful.
Then the wedding day happened at the end of the summer. I kept thinking that once the day came, there would be nothing left to do. I could relax and enjoy the day. Not so. It was awful. From the moment the groom and I woke up to the moment we went to bed, someone was asking us for something or doing something annoying. Why would someone ask the bride and groom to get them a chair, or where they could park, or if they had a hair elastic, or introduce yourself to them during their first dance? What is wrong with people? On top of it, every vendor screwed up something: our announcement, our first dance song, some showed up late, etc. I know that these things don’t matter and that our guests probably didn’t even notice. But as the planner and host, it was so frusterating. And people keep saying how I must be having such a wonderful day, but I wasn’t. I spent the whole day on my feet, not eating, talking to people that I didn’t know and/or didn’t really want to talk to. I put on a good face and was nice to everyone, but kept thinking “I can’t believe this is my wedding”.
I feel like the day was a success. Everyone had a good time and have us lots of complements. I just can’t get over how stresful and annoying everything was for us. I seriously felt like I was having an out of body experience. Since the wedding, I have continued to be stressed thinking about it. I don’t know why I can’t just move on. I’m still mad. The groom feels the same way, which is nice because we have done a lot of venting. I know that the most important thing is that we are together and totally understand each other. The wedding really probably brought us closer and united us more as a team. I just wish I could think of it fondly and not with my blood pressure rising while I think of all people I’d like to tell off.
Sorry for being a downer, but I’ve been carrying this around and don’t know what will make me feel better about the day. Has anyone else had a similar experience?
Thanks Bees 🙂 XOXO