(Closed) Lovely wedding – hated it. Vent!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

That really sucks. I still can’t help but be amazed at how people act before, during and after weddings!!! I think for your sanity, and the sake of your marriage, you and your husband need to call a truce with your wedding. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, it down right sucked at points, but the end result is that you married your man.  Agree to stop dwelling on it, and move on with your life. I think in a few years, you will be able to look back at your wedding and love it for what it was – the day that you and your husband pledged the rest of your lives to each other.

There are so many things that I wish would have went differently at our wedding, but I have learned to just deal with it, because its not something that you we can change. I have learned to love our wedding for what it was, and when I look back at pictures, I don’t see what went wrong, I see all the love that was shared between our families and friends

Post # 4
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Tell all your friends and family they are FIRED!

hehe just kidding.

Resentment can stay in your heart for a lifetime, you are better off just letting it go. Take pride and admire yourself for what you accomplished- a heavily complimented and well done day! Focus on the love you have for your husband and what a blessing marriage is-don’t put all your stock in the “wedding”.

Post # 5
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yes to what all the PP’s said.

 

Also.. *hugs*

Post # 6
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Someone tried to talk to you during your first dance? I agree. What is wrong with people? But you have to get over this and find a way quick or you will always look upon your wedding like something horrible and not the best day of your life simply because you married the man you love. And if you want, why not try to “redeem it all” by having a 10 year bash?

Post # 7
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Yeah, there’s lots of stuff I would’ve done differently. Having had a wedding like the one I did, I think it was a huge waste of money. Nice wearing a pretty dress, though. I haven’t really told my husband how I feel because he doesn’t feel the same way. It’s good you two are on the same page.

Post # 9
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

So sorry it was stressful for you but at the end of the day… You married the man of your dreams and thats what matters most

 

Post # 10
Member
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m sorry it was so stressful, sounds like you never got to experience any of the fun stuff that comes along with the annoyance.

At this point there’s probably not more you can do than let it go.  Maybe you can make your own photo book and lay it out with your Darling Husband imagining he way you wished it had been. Lovely pictures can cut out all the irritating stuff.

Post # 11
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I am so sorry your day wasn’t what you had hoped for.  I think unfortunately most of us “dream of this day since I was a little girl” no dream that big will ever meet your expectations. 

I think another “flaw” if I may call it that is weddings have become such a big production.  There is such pressure on people to have these lavish events but really in the end cause undue stress, undue financial burden and for what?  Has there ever been any corilation between the size of the wedding and the sucess of the marriage – look at Hollywood hmmm I thnk not.  I got married the first time in 1987.  Live band, sit down dinner for 300 of our closest friend (really?  close??), thousands for flowers, and Good Champagne and photographer.  Ten years later I spend almost as much on lawyers getting a divorce.  This time around, we are having really are closest friends, 28 people, a few flowers, some cake and nice wine.  No production, no stress and the whole thing cost less than most people spend on just the wedding dress. 

It seems like you have your prioritys on straight – you are married, you are happy and this has caused you to be closer than before.  So set your goal in making the LESS than perfect wedding become over shadowed by a fantastic marriage.  Maybe on your 10 year anniversay you can plan a simple little event to celebrate and make this “the perfect little wedding”.    I wish you many years of happiness!

Post # 12
Member
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Sorry to hear, I agree with the PP at some point you have to let the anger go. People just really lack common sense. The only example I can compare this to last year for my mothers funeral. I had people calling me and hour before the wake on my cell phone asking me for directions and other stupid ass questions. Like really? So I get your frustration, people are just stupid, stupid, stupid. But its over and done with, it can’t be changed. Enjoy and focus on the good moments. Good luck.

Post # 13
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

That sucks, people suck, but it is too late now to change the past. Why did you have people at your wedding that you didn’t want to talk to?  This is exactly why I am having a 15 guest wedding :). If I were you I would order in some yummy food, put your dress back on and re-do your dinner and “first dance” with your Hubby alone in your living room. lol I think it would be sweet 🙂

Post # 14
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It would be really hard to come to grips with dissapointment like that, but the two of you need to decide when to move on.  Did you get your pictures yet? Did you get to have a honeymoon or some time together? Try to look at the positive and decide together that instead of mourning the wedding you had, that you will look forward to the wonderful life you will have together.

Post # 15
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

I am so sorry that happend to you.  {{HUGS}}  I am so scared that this will happen to me.  I am killing myself now so that I don’t have anything crazy to do the week of and I have a planner.  I am just so worried that I will have to deal with some kind of crazy mess becuase of two drama filled people who can’t really be univited -my mother and his buisness partner.  My fiance have made a pact that we are going to do wha we want to the day of.  We aren’t going to spend a whole lot of  time talking to people our parents wanted us to invite (and we are too nice to no to them…and they were cousins that we see maybe once every other year), we are going to actually eat our dinner, and I am going to dance all night….(or that is how it goes in my fantasty)

Post # 16
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

I feel your pain as we had  A LOT of stress and disappointment when planning our destination wedding. (My sister backed out and was supposed to stand in it, hubby’s brother backed out even though his whole trip was paid for by his dad and he was supposed to stand too, both our mothers didn’t even go for no good reason, and a bunch of other things I won’t even get into.) I am still so angry about all the lack of support we had, even though it was completely typical of some of the family members we have. But it sucks.

At the end of the day I try to remember who WAS there for us, and what DID go right, and also it helps to know that pretty much everybody I know had tons of blips on their wedding day. I don’t think everything can ever go the way you hope.

Sorry you had to go through all of that, but hopefully you can eventually put it behind you. Maybe a vow renewal and mini-ceremony on your 1-year anniversary with a few really close family/friends would do the trick and make up for your disappointment.

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