- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
Under an anonnymous name and looking for some support….please dont pound me too hard. I know Ive gotten myself into a really crappy situation. And this will be kinda long.
Dh and I have been together 6 years, married for 2 1/2. He is a great great man, loving, supportive, caring, smart, driven. He really really loves me, but I would say we are better friends than lovers. I met him kinda young when I was just really getting to know myself, my family loves him and he takes great care of me. I had a few reservations before we got married but I went to theraphy and thought we were in the clear, blamed pre-wedding jitters and being scared of settling down. There’s never been a huge spark and our sex life is pretty bland (and I havent O’d in years w him) despite me trying to change this. But — in every other respect, he is a really great man, person and husband.
So…….. I started a new job a year and a bit ago and started making friends pretty quickly. One person in particular I started chatting to here and there, we seem to have the same sense of humor and talking once or twice a week turned into all day every day when he wasnt travelling. He works for the same company but in a different country, so I would only see him every 3 months or so when he was in town, and we’ll usually grab a beer or lunch when hes here. We work together on projects although his role is quite a bit above mine, but we dont JUST work for the same company. We formed a pretty strong friendship, I could talk for hours to him and never run out of things to discuss, and we make eachother laugh constantly. I can honestly say I have never had a friendship or connection with someone like this in my entire life, and I am not lacking for friends.
It truly did start innocently, but then got dicey when we started texting on weekends and in the evenings. We have fallen for eachother hard and know we were probably made for eachother, but we’re both married. I do love him, no doubt about it, and he loves me too. Its been about a year since we met and we have starting to really talk about backing away, but we’re both heartbroken over the loss of the friendship. I cannot imagine him not in my life, especially as a friend….but when we talk “as friends”, the other feelings come back quickly. Also, given that we work together, we cant cut communication completely….and neither of us really want to.
Im so lost, I dont even know what to do. Going back to therapy, obviously, is being set up asap. There must be something missing from my relationship big time for this to have even happened, but it really did start innocently and I have never felt this kind of same-mind connection to anyone in my life. He gets me like no friend ever has. But my Darling Husband is a really great man and husband and I dont want to lose him either.