(Closed) Low Income SAHM's.

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 76
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2000

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ilovebacon: 

I agree totally, and 30,000 does seem way low. A lot of Bees mentioned saving and preparing living off of one income for a while. That would be good preparation for her situation. I just don’t want OP to cry herself to sleep thinking she will never come close to 100,000 and that is not even enough!

Post # 77
Member
4426 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

It seems we lost the OP several pages back. I think overall it’s important to note that everyone’s finances are different, but it seems most people do agree that responsible adults (regardless of their income) prepare to have a child by thinking things through. That may mean knowing how to work a small household income well and still provide, waiting several years to improve conditions, or living off one income to increase savings and determine if it’s the right time for a baby. Whatever way you choose, OP, I hope you guys make the best choice for you and your family. 

One of the best things I did when wanting a baby was hitting me hard was to let it ride itself out. Usually, practicality wins out and I realize why DH and I are waiting until next summer to try and why we just had a roomate move in to add to our savings each month (on top of cutting unnecessary spending to increase savings further). Give yourself some time to just think about how your life will change in every way before deciding to have a baby. If you and your DH still decide you’re ready, then I wish you the best of luck!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by  KatiePi.
Post # 79
Member
4028 posts
Honey bee

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FutureMrsB123:  Good for you for making your decision and aligning your priorities in life. I will say that it is completely feasible when certain sacrifices are made. When someone is ok with making those sacrifices, then great, others aren’t as comfortable or capable of making them. I will say, your comment about “not managing their budget correctly” if they make more money is fairly off base though. One can make quite a bit of money, maintain a certain lifestyle and not be able to afford a child. It’s a choice, but it isn’t right or wrong, correct or incorrect. It’s simply different from what you would do.

Best of luck OP!

Post # 80
Member
5219 posts
Bee Keeper

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privatequestions:  YOU asked where 100k goes and I responded saying that childcare is childcare because in MY situation, both DH and I would be working therefore, childcare would be a huge factor in the decision making.  You seem to want to live in la-la “everything will all work out” land, which is fine….but I said for MY situation, we are taking precautions to live comfortably and your post implied people living in a certain tax bracket should have “no problem” affording children.  You can advocate for the OP all you want,  I still think it’s a poor decision to willingly make life harder on yourself and your children….but I digress. I’ve said it enough on this thread.

Post # 81
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2000

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Mrs_Amanda: 

I asked people who make 100,000 because people making this much were comparing their lives to OP’s. I would imagine her life is very different. I was just offering a different scenario.

I’m honestly really sorry if I offended anyone. This is not my intention. I just wanted to give another perspective. 

Post # 82
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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FutureMrsB123:  OP I will say this, on here I have seen many salary threads and I think the average income is much higher here than the general population. A lot of people also seem to have higher standards of living (want the new car, want the big house.) Honestly, I grew up pretty wealthy and I have different ideas of “normal.” Everyones normal is really different. My advice to you is this: sit down and write out a 5 year finacial guide. What will your expenses be year one: thats newborn and one income. What will your expenses be year two: toddler but you go back to work but now you need childcare, year three maybe you go back to scho or maybe you buy a home, year four do you want a new car, year five baby is in school so no more childcare. Whatever your situations for each year are or plans write it all out. Only you know every detail of your finances and you CAN make it work but only with detailed and realistic planning, especially as it sounds like you’ll only be out of work shortly. There are a lot of guides online on what a newborn cost ect. so use them and see how the next 5 years would play out if you had a newborn and lived off just your husbands income today. This should give you a good idea of how your plans will work in the short and long term. Do you have enough each year based on expenses and goals to have savings for an emergency? Can you feel comfortable or will it be tough? If it looks tough you then know where you need to be and can make a real gameplan to get you there. Good luck. 

Post # 84
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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privatequestions:  I so agree. Some of us including OP will NEVER make six figures. It is so sad when people tell women they can never have a baby because they don’t make six figures. I was raised SO well on half that and my teen years my mother did it all on her own at $30,000 a year. I loved my life and wouldn’t change a thing. I’m actually laughing at those saying they’re struggling at six figures it baffles me…

Post # 85
Member
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I preface this by saying that I am not a parent but I recently heard that a friend of a friend doesn’t use nappies (diapers) at all (almost). She is a stay at home mum and she basically puts them on the potty every half hour, after every nap and after every meal. I assume that at night or when going out she uses nappies of some kind. But if you have the time and mind set and are prepared to put the effort into it, the. I assume that this method would save you a TON on nappies, even cloth because there would be less washing overall.

A weird money saving tip that we use in Australia, mainly to save water: if it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down. Basically, only flush with number 2. You don’t really need to flush every time you urinate, that’s a luxury. OR you can open your cistern and put a brick in it. This displaces some of the water which means that each flush uses less overall because the cistern doesn’t fill up as much. If you end up needing more power on some occasions, you just flush twice. You’d be surprised at how much you save (assuming water is just as expensive in the US as it is here). 

Post # 86
Member
7935 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

While I would never say anything is impossible, I am a Stay-At-Home Mom and I would find it extremely difficult to live on 30K a year.  When I quit my job to stay at home, the first 3 months I was off we had unexpected expenses- the refrigerator died, my car needed repairs, the toilet leaked and needed a plumber.  Luckily, we have financial wiggle room- so we could afford to attend to all of those things that popped up.  Also, while my kids aren’t spoiled, the older one does play a soccer and the younger one does take a tumbling class- both cost money.  I don’t want to just “get by”- I want our family to enjoy our life- and that takes a little extra cash sitting around (not a LOT- but a little extra!)

Post # 87
Member
2847 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

There is absolutely, positively not way that I would struggle on $30K a year.  For 3 people, I doubt you’ll even have enough for needs.

Post # 88
Member
2847 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

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FutureMrsB123:  You would be shocked at how little six figures covers, once you have more than 1 child, when you pay for childcare, school expenses (even public school is constantly asking for money), sports and other activities, food for the kids, including a tween boy, a mortgage, and other bills.  I drive an 8 year old car.  My budget for my daughter’s dance and gymnastics is $130 a month, exclusive of costumes, shoes, and other supplies.  So, when you add everything in, we are at $200 a month.  She is 6.  We don’t even travel yet.  She is great at gymnastics, so I don’t mind spending the money, but it is costly.  It really depends on what you want your kids to do.  I think on $30K, your kid won’t get dance lesson or play baseball (another non-cheap sport when you add gear).  Back to school supplies alone (and I just buy what is on the list, plus they both needed new backpacks this year) were $300, and I haven’t bought fall clothes yet.  It is important to me that my kids have these opportunities.  I don’t want to live poor, whcih I think a family of 3 or 4 will.

On $30K, you won’t have money for anything extra.  Like vacations.  You won’t send your kids to summer camp.  Probably no sports or dance, unless you can find those activities for free somewhere.  You definitley will not have any extras for your kids.  You’ll be lucky to have health insurance and medical care and school supplies.

Post # 89
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My mom was a single mother with 2 kids on a teacher’s salary for 12 years…no government assistance, she bought a house at 26, put herself through grad school, has always had a car, we went on vacations every year, played sports (my brother has played travel hockey since he was 4, which is an incredibly expensive sport), I was in band, we always had nice clothes…granted, that was in the 90s, but still. I’m confused at all these people saying 6-figures doesn’t stretch far. I had an incredible childhood and never wanted for anything, and my mom made less than 40k/year. We never “lived poor.”

Now, would I be comfortable living as a Stay-At-Home Mom on a single-income of 30k? Absolutely not. I would never chose to live that way. But I don’t like the insinuation (or sometimes explicit expression) that if you make anything less than 100k as a family, you will be depriving your children or cutting them short. Come on.

Post # 90
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

There have been a lot of people on here sayin their parents made 30-40k per year and struggled raising kids But did it so OP should be fine… I would like to point out that inflation is HUGE??

today’s $30,000 spends like $13,300 from the late 1980’s, when those of us in our mid to late 20’s would have been born. An income of $30,000 in 1986 spent like $65k would today.

If so many PPs parents struggled 20+ years ago on 30k, that makes me think OP doesn’t quite have enough salary coming in yet… I agree with other posters who suggest that OP and her husband should live off one income for a while – and even then, they should try to save from the salary because a baby would cost extra.

The other thing I worry about is what about childcare after that first year? You have to be bringing in a pretty substantial income before it is worthwhile to have a job once you have more than one child.

i agree that if your big goal in life is to be a Stay-At-Home Mom on as little money as possible that a degree in art history probably will not pay for itself. On the other hand, there are a TON of jobs out there that  pay better than you would be making now after a year or two of school… Massage therapy, nursing LPN, a lot of the technical trades…

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