low key devastated by boyfriend's 5 year stipulation

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 106
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee

nope nope nope. the fact that he laid out those stipulations that you need to improve on for him to consider it are just distancing tactics. He is laying out a ‘rational’ set of guidelines that excuse him from having to connect with you on the level that you want to connect on. it’s  a way for him to place the blame for his lack of commitment and connectedness on YOUR behaviours. And they are incredibly silly behaviours. You’re a bit messy and get upset somewhat easily? REALLY?? no one is perfect. not anyone.

He is looking for a perfection in relationships that does not ever exist. the 5 year plan, the rigid guidelines.. Do you really want to carry on with someone who says, “I will love you IF you are neater and tidier and less emotional” rather than “I love you. it would be great if you could work on your messiness and we should find better ways to approach conflict, let me help you.” 

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