(Closed) Low Self Esteem Bride – any advice?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5543 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Um girl, hello sexy curves! There is NO blobby anything there. Your waist looks teenie, that dress is gorgeous and you are going to look wonderful! 

Post # 5
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Ok, first of all, that dress looks amazing on you. You most definitely don’t look like a fat blob. I have been feeling the same way lately, so I totally understand. I’m not sure what helps, so I will be watching this thread too.

My wedding is still a year away, but I started looking at dresses last week. I was totally expecting it to be lots of fun, and to find something that I looked amazing in. But, I left feeling even worse. My Maid/Matron of Honor who came with me, said she totally didn’t notice any of the “flaws” I was pointing out. I still ended up having some fun, but my self esteem didn’t gain any. I’m hoping to work on this over the next year.

Post # 6
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I am just going to say this.  That dress fits you VERY well.  I think you look very slim in it.  I think the skirt is very pretty as well!  I don’t see your arms as being fat.  I have looked up ways though if they will make you feel better.  I was told to use small weights and do arm exercises.  Again, that is just if it will make you feel better because I don’t think you really need it.  I would just remember that your Fiance loves you the way you are and he is going to be so awed to see you all made up and in that beautiful dress.  That day, no one is going to look at your waist, arms, etc.  They will be looking at the happy couple. Smile

By the way, I also like your hair.  I wish mine would do a curl like that.

Post # 7
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

First, let me start by saying you look AMAZING in that dress!

Here are my suggestions:1)Continue seeing your therapist so you can talk it out 2)Check out http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/hey-all-you-married-ladiescan-i-see-your-before-and-after.  I think seeing how the married bees look normally and then on their wedding day would be beneficial to you.  3)Try practicing.  As they say on Say Yes to the Dress, get “jacked up.”  What I mean by this is, when you get your dress back, do it up.  Do the make-up, the hair, the veil, the shoes…all of it and practice seeing yourself and how you’ll look on your wedding day.  4)I didn’t do this, but consider doing a “first-look” on the day of.  This way, your Fiance will see you before anyone else.  He’ll let you know how beautiful (which you WILL be) you are.  Not only that, but you’ll get a chance to talk to him, share some time with him, etc.  This may be calming for you.  (Check out what other bees have said about their first-looks.)

Those are my suggestions. Hope they can help a little bit.  Good luck. 

Post # 8
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@vivshanks:  I agree. OP, Please do check out that thread. The before and afters are really awesome to see.

I just want you to know, I love your dress. I honestly think you look stunning in it. You’ve got a figure lots of girls wish to have. And as for arm fat, I see none whatsoever.

I think it’s pretty natural to worry about being a pretty bride. There’s a few threads on here completely devoted to that. As much as all this lead up to the wedding can be scary, especially with being concerned about looking good enough, rest assured your Fiance thinks you’re gorgeous no matter what. I also agree with a PP that practicing your look works too, so you feel comfortable with what you decide on for your day. I’ve been kind of obsessed with my wedding day look. When I told Fiance, he told me when he thinks I look most beautiful – first thing in the morning, and not made up at all. I know what ever I do on the wedding day, I’ll look good to him.

Post # 9
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You are sooo not fat!!! I would love to look like you, but I’m sure you get that a lot and it doesn’t help the way you feel inside.  I like many other brides have severe anxiety over how I will look on the wedding day.  I had major dress regret and have not lost any of the weight I had planned on losing.  But I agree with the above comment…so say worse case senerio (which is not yours!!!!)  and a bride looks horrible on their wedding day, I bet their groom still thinks that his bride is the most beautiful person ever.  At the end of the day that is all that matters, you and your man showing each other how much you love each other. 

Post # 10
5 posts

I agree with the others.  You will feel confident once you know what you’re getting… I.e. how will your make up look, how will your hair look, and how will they hold up, etc. Practice your look by getting free trials now. 

Also, on your big day, every pair of eyes will follow you with a big smile – which will make you feel like you are on the pedestal & no time to worry but just to enjoy!  People there are there for you guys, & to celebrate.  Those who decides to criticize you on your big day shouldn’t be on your invite list anyway, right?

There is beauty in everything, esp. your hair, your curve, your pointy chin (can’t tell your look).  More, your heart, your excitement, your FI’s love…  Try to focus on your blessings, and not worries.  May be ask yourself who’s minimizing your self worth?  Yourself or overly-concerned parents/friends? Are you setting a high standard and giving yourself un-needed stress?  Tune out any negative, stay away!  Positive energy will make you glow. 

I’m a recovering anxious / depressed patient myself, as I didn’t look at the positives and what I had, but what I didn’t have…  Now, I’m a happymarried wife and mom, and passionate to share the story. 

Anyway, please accept that you will always be beautiful to some, and “not all that” to some.  No one gets 100% rating, even US Presidents.  Can’t & don’t need to please everyone, So, be kind to yourself and tell yourself why you are so beautiful.  You will be skinnier and prettier once you gained confidence, which will motivate you to lose more weight, do more skincare, etc.  A new you will come from this cycle. 

Best of luck!!!  Everyone here is rooting for you, so you better root for yourself too! 


Post # 11
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You are crazy! You look beautiful in that dress and I agree there’s nothing blobby or flabby anywhere.

Post # 12
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t know how to help you, because I have a friend who unfortunately states “I’m so ugly and horrid that no one would look my way, anyways,” in jest a lot, and a lot of other self-depreicating stuff that I frankly have nothing to respond with. At first, I thought she was just fishing for compliments, but it became way too frequent for it to be that. I’ve tried boosting her self-esteem by telling her that she’s wrong, but after so many times I’ve just realized that it isn’t my responsibility to help her feel better about herself.

I’m not trying to be harsh, but I’m probably the first to lay it out straight. It really depresses me that my opinion, even positive, doesn’t seem to change her feelings on the matter, even though she thanks me for it.

But when it comes to myself, I know I don’t look great 100%, I could really bum out and I’m proud of it. My Fiance goes nuts when I clean up and can’t seem to take his hands off me ๐Ÿ˜‰ And the reason why I know I look great isn’t because my Fiance is telling me. I have a tendency to grin and smile a lot, because I’m a pretty happy person. A natural and surefire way to look beautiful on your wedding day is to let the inner happiness beam.

Post # 13
55 posts
Worker bee

I think you look wonderful- focus on the fact that this day is FOR YOU (and your husband to be) and its just there for you to enjoy, and people you invite will be there because they love you

Post # 14
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You are absolutely beautiful!  Your dress is stunning and you have a great body with curves!!

Post # 15
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

First off you are gorgeous! I’d kill to be your size, there are many other brides out there with arms twice the size of yours and they were all beautiful at their wedding. Your dress is very flatterring. Just keep going for your sessions and know that your Fiance loves you for a reason!

Post # 16
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You look gorgeous in your gown!  I think it is totally flattering on you, and you don’t need to change one thing about your body!!

You really don’t need to lose any weight, but if you wanted to feel better about your arms, maybe you can just work on toning them?  Self.com should have some good arm workouts.

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