(Closed) Low self esteem :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Aww, I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling. I know that for many brides, including myself, being engaged really makes us question how we look. Everyone wants to look perfect on their wedding day. If you want to lose weight, make sure you are doing it the healthy way through diet and exercise. And remember that it’s not about how you look on the wedding day, it’s about marrying the one you love and who loves you back. 

Post # 4
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Your post made me so sad for you I was getting teary eyed.  I have been in this spot before and I know how terrible it is to feel like this. I don’t really know what to tell you except that being able to talk about it to someone makes it feel better. And as for the starving yourself, please don’t do this anymore. It’s doing so much harm to your body and will actually make you gain weight. I hope you can learn to listen to your Fiance and see that you are a gorgeous person inside and out no matter the number on the scale. Feel free to PM me to talk about more personal stuff, I am here for you!

Post # 5
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@futureMrsMason: I think as women, we all have that one chink in our self esteem armor that we constantly fret about. Talk to your friends, family, and even your fiance and I’m sure that every single one of them has an issue with themselves. When I start having doubts about myself, my fiance turns to me and tells me to look at his big nose, then we both have a laugh at ourselves. Nobody is perfect but you are lucky enough to have a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with you because he already thinks you are the perfect woman. Don’t starve yourself again, instead of setting a goal to lose weight just take care of yourself, make healthier choices, and get that evening walk in. Real beauty is on the inside and as cliche as that sounds it’s true!!

Post # 6
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry you are having a hard time at the moment. I understand, been there, done that, all of that. It is something that is hard to get over especially when it stems from those comments made when you were so young. But you need to realize those comments are crap. No one should ever make anyone feel less of a person or crappy about themselves because of their weight, or any other physical, mental, or emotional chracterstic. It’s complete bullshit.

My suggestion to you is to be more than a number, a body frame, a size and a look. Join something that you can be proud of yourself for acheiving and progressing in, like running, dancing, martial arts, boxing, spin classes. I mentioned physcial activities because they actually do make you happier be releasing those wonderful things called endorphins. Once you focus on an activity other than your weight, you will gain more confidence because ti is something no one can take away from you. No one can tell you you can’t or you’re not good enough, because you know what you are capable of.

And as a PP mentioned, beauty does come from within, always. You can’t fake beauty, it shines from within, and people notice that, animals notice it. You can have a drop dead gorgeous girl/guy walk into a room, but if they have got an ugly soul, it doesn’t take much to see through it.

Post # 7
Member
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh darling. I’m sorry that you’re so broken about this… We all have our days. Even the most beautiful people have down days. So you’re not alone!

However, I think if this is a persistant ongoing issue, I think that you should go speak to a counselor for a professional point of view. Do you think you’re depressed?… if you’re feeling this extreme sadness, perhaps there are bigger issues at hand

Also- you HAVE to take better care for yourself! Starving yourself is only setting yourself up for failure.  Your body is starving, it’s eating itself. Your metabolism is slowing down to keep its energy reserves. How can you possibly blame yourself for not being in control when you’re literally starving? You’re in survival mode at that point, so of course you’ll reach for the unhealthy options and binge!

You said yourself that you know you are responsible for your weight and that you’re working on becoming healthier and that’s great! Just continue to proactively make positive choices and take care of yourself. Do more things that you enjoy, and that you’re good at to build self esteem. Stay busy. Join clubs. Do yoga. Eat well. Drink water. Take relaxing baths. Journal. Set a goal to run a 5k and DO IT! Reach some goals! Pick up new hobbies. Do things that make you feel good.

It sounds like your Fiance is extremely supportive, and that’s really great! I think together you can sit down and develop a system of wellness because the more you take the time to care for yourself, the more positive you’ll feel mentally.

Good luck dear!

Post # 8
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

*hug*

Post # 9
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Don’t despair.  ๐Ÿ™‚   Be happy that you have such a caring fiance that loves you!  And if you respect him, you’ll realize he loves you and finds you beautiful just the way you are (inside and out)!   You wouldn’t argue against his good taste would you?

All brides are beautiful on their wedding day… I have no doubt you’ll be glowing!

As for dieting… make a plan and try to stick with it, but nothing drastic!  Keep it reasonable (like replacing your snacks with something more light or switching out a meal for cereal or oatmeal.)  Small steps that will add up without starving you! 

Post # 10
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m so sorry you feel this way about yourself…I just want to remind you that your Fiance would not be with you and would not have proposed to you if he did not absolutely love you for who you are, inside AND out.  He loves you no matter what, don’t forget that as you try to learn to love yourself.

Wishing you luck with everything, and happiness! You will be a beautiful bride, I have no doubt ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 11
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I checked out your engagement pictures and I’m trying to figure out why you think/want to loose weight (because you’re thin). You are GORGEOUS and do not lose a pound!

Your fiance is just trying to comfort you, in the awkward ways men do.

Post # 12
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

beauty isn’t somthing on the outside, it shines from within. havn’t u eva noticed the ‘it’ ‘pretty’ girls who r mean nasty pieces of work always hav sumthing slightly off putting about the way they look and act where as nice, warm, gentle kind souls always seem to hav a ‘glow’. that my friend is beauty 

Post # 12
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

beauty isn’t somthing on the outside, it shines from within. havn’t u eva noticed the ‘it’ ‘pretty’ girls who r mean nasty pieces of work always hav sumthing slightly off putting about the way they look and act where as nice, warm, gentle kind souls always seem to hav a ‘glow’. that my friend is beauty 

Post # 13
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Awww honey but you ARE beautiful, btw the reason you lose self control is cause you were sooo hungry from not eating! Start slow, ok? Feel better!

Post # 14
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I have been where you are before too. My advise is instead of having it in your mind too lose weight quickly (staving yourself) which never works, start exercising, and start eating really healthy, dont get hungry instead fill yourself up with lean meat, whole grains, fruit and lots of vegetables. You will feel as good as you do when you stave yourself, but you wont then feel like shit when you binge, because you wont. Good Luck hun!

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