Post # 1
A very weird situation is going on in my life and I need to vent or I’ll lose my mind. I got married few weeks ago and my husband doesn’t want to have sex anymore.
Yes, I said few WEEKS.
Some background: we’ve been living together before getting married, he’s a handsome and young man and was into me (at leat seemed so). Despite the fact that I didn’t have a experienced sex life before him, I was always up for anything to please him. Usually we would make love few times a week, and he was very affectionate and into me.
But we got married…
Now he just wants to have sex in the morning because he already walks up ready (just like every man after puberty in the world). And always the same thing… no affection, just robotic, boring… he pleases himself and that’s it.
Next day, same old thing.
Must mention that I’m 29 and he is 36.
So I really don’t know what it going on. I already spoke to him but he says I’m not right, that nothing has changed. I won’t force him or trying to convince that we should be doing something more interesting than watching Netflix and kiss my head goodnight.
Yesterday was a huge beautiful moon that we could see from our bedroom windown and he said “what a big moon… so if one day we want to have sex there’s a moon like that inside our bedroom bla bla bla”. Really? I even went to the lounge to sleep because I could not stand such humiliation in slepping with my husband like he’s my brother.
This is affecting my mood because I don’t know what to do. Everytime I try something before we go to bed he kiss my forehead and say good night.
This morning I woke up and quickly moved to the lounge because I already knew that he would want something (obviously like any other man in the morning) and he said “I was going to make love to you in the morning”. Who does he think he is?
Has anyone experienced something similar before?
Post # 2
Why don’t you talk to him? Don’t tell him things have changed (since he’ll deny it) but tell him you aren’t happy with the way things are now.
Post # 3
I could have written this post!
If you complain to your husband about it, things might change temporarily so I suggest a two-fold approach. Frank discussion and YOU taking the lead and making the move more often. You, you, you. Put the moves on him at the right time and see what happens. Sucks but true.
Post # 4
Do you try initiating sex? What happens if you do?
Post # 5
she already said, he ignores her, pecks her forehead and goes to sleep.
OP I would tell him no more sex until the romance and affection is back. No sex until he is cuddling, kissing and pleasing you. And I would explain to him that you will not be his sex doll. You are more than a vagina and therefore the ban will remain until he woos you and gives you validation and pleasure. Its tit for tat. No more of this.
Post # 6
As a man, I have to voice two things:
1 – I have no idea why he’s doing this without speaking with him, but maybe he subconsiously decided that married life is boring, so he’s just following what he thinks are the rules. If you listen to th eradio or TV, married life is constantly depicted as a loveless, sexless, boring, monotonous institution where the woman is always mad at the man, and all the man wants to do is watch or play sports to get away from her. It’s terrible, but perhaps he’s just doing what he thinks is “normal.”
Talk to him about it…. which leads me to #2
2 – If you want to withold sex, you have to make it a challenge, not a punishment. If you explain that “the ban will reamin until he woos you” etc. you will flip all the stubborn, bull-headed, competitive switches installed in us men. He will shut his tap off TO YOU. He’ll get it somewhere else if he has to.
It’s terrible, but it happens. If you make it a playful challenge, he’ll WANT to step up and be the man you want. If you tell him the tap is off until he improves, he’ll shut off to you… and you’ll end up in the “He cheated on me” forum.
The bottom line is speak with him about your needs. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you like it when he (_________ fill in the blank). Tell him you want him to (…….) until you’re both sweaty and exhausted. Turn him on and challenge him playfully to show you he’s not one of “those lame husbands.”
Post # 7
Sounds like he is in a rut. Which isnt bad.
You just need a jump start the game a bit. Give him something to chase (you!). Be playful, flirtatious….but just out of reach (busy!). Watch him run around trying to catch you. I bet that wakes him up.