- 4 years ago
I feel so fortunate to have a SO who is such a good guy and has the same ideas of commitment as me. He is currently at a hugely extravagant 3-day wedding over 8,000 miles away from me. He’s with his dad, and all of his colleagues and their families (and also hundreds of other guests) are there. There have basically been three days of extravagant, open bar celebrations. Several of his dad’s coworkers have been repeatedly encouraging him to go talk to the girls there and have even blatantly told him that he should take advantage of being so far away from me and do whatever he wants.
Lucky for me, I’m the only one he is remotely interested in! He kept responding by saying that he has a girlfriend and that he’s committed and showed them all pictures of us on his phone. His dad’s boss even said that I was a good catch, but nobody took us seriously. It is a big group of traveling salesmen for the most part. One of them kept inviting one family over so SO could talk to their attractive daughter (who is literally a model), and he just walked away and told the guy no. The guy asked how I would ever find out if he cheated, and he responded “I would tell her if I ever did anything!” To him, the act of doing anything that would hurt me if I ever found out hurts him.
We are pretty young, I’m 20 and he’s 22 almost 23. I know that a lot of guys our age don’t understand commitment the way that we do or feel the same way about it. But we have been talking about marriage for probably about 9 months of our 1.5 year relationship, and we are both 100% committed and happy with each other. We just had a long talk about how annoyed he was that they kept encouraging him and how we both feel it would have been disrespectful if he was talking to girls there. We both feel that there’s no reason to talk to someone or pursue a friendship with someone based on the fact that you find them attractive because a big part of our commitment to each other means that we are happy with what we have and don’t need to explore other possibilities, even if it means nothing. We don’t want to invite any sort of temptation into our lives, although it doesn’t mean we don’t have friends of the opposite sex or restrict each other in doing things. It’s more that we restrict ourselves on our own – he said that if he finds a girl attractive, he purposefully won’t talk to her unless there’s a reason for it.
I know that a lot of other people have different views on the subject, but this is just how we feel about our relationship, and I am so happy we are naturally on the same page! I made some mistakes along these lines in my last relationship – no physical cheating, but definitely the mindset of “oh, i’m in a relationship all these close friendships with guys I’m attracted to don’t matter!”. It was indeed highly inappropriate for my relationship, and I regret a lot of the things I did even though there was no infidelity.
I never thought I would find such a wonderful guy who values me over everything else, and I just wanted to gush a little bit because nobody in real life cares 🙂 I’m not against any other way that different couples view commitment or flirting with others, etc, but this is what naturally works for us and I’m thrilled about it.