Post # 1
SO I’m engaged to a friend of 5 plus years. We fell in love six months ago (acutally I’m pretty sure he’s been in love with me for five years). Anyway, he did mention when we were dating that he is filing for bankrupsy. He had bought a condo and then the economy bagged and so did his paycheck and roomate success. I can deal with it I suppose …I thought.
Everything has been great except when I found out three weeks ago he has no money (NONE! Not even the three hundred he needs to file for bankrupsy), I had to put a guilt trip on him to pick up some bread and butter yesterday! He wasn’t like that until the money was gone but how can someone be so reckless with their money managment I do Not know! By The Way, I have no money either as I’m currently in school and the 10 hrs I work a week isn’t enough to pay for my medication (but I have enough saved to get through the sememster at least and plan to work my butt off in summer).
Anyway, I’m old fashion …. who doesn’t want a man to take care of them (somewhat) I’m NOT lazy when not in school i usually work two jobs …sometimes/usually/whatever…
I do love him and Oh by the way he’s in sales currently and just hasn’t sold anything due to the midwest winter months… I’m having him apply for many many jobs though! …and he is.
Just scary. I can do broke and homeless on my own, I don’t need a man to enable me to get there any faster.
Post # 3
Just so you’re aware, not trying to suggest anything else… being married to someone with that kind of financial history will also affect your access to credit.
Have you talked about money, etc, for the future? My Fiance and I discussed finances pretty thoroughly before the engagement. Those financial goals – where we were currently, what we wanted to work toward, what we need to do if a kid is going to happen – were a big part of where we saw ourselves in the whole future-planning thing.
Post # 4
I’m with you… I make my own cash but I like a man that can take care of me too. It’s not about the money it’s about their will to be successful!! If my Fiance didn’t have that characteristic I simply wouldn’t be attracted to him.
Post # 5
I feel like while money is not THE thing to consider when getting married it is A THING to consider getting married. Why not wait untill her gets back on his feet before planning a wedding? that will give you BOTH time to save up money, and prehaps work out a finanical system that would enable the two of you to be finaicially stable through the years.
Post # 6
I wonder sometimes whatever happened to “for richer or for poorer”. I personally don’t think that a man should support me in anyway.
“I’m NOT lazy when not in school i usually work two jobs …sometimes/usually/whatever…”
Sometimes life gets tough, you need to decide if you want to marry him for the support that he can give you or if you want to marry him because you love him and can see yourselves building a liife together. Sometimes you have to build that life starting with nothing. It is important to insulate yourself financially but what are you going to do when you do actually get married, is everything going to be his or yours or is everything going to be yours together?
Post # 7
Would you two be willing to postpone your wedding/have a longer engagement while you both work on your finances?
Post # 8
This economy has hurt a lot of people who normally are good at money management.
I totally understand that this could be worrisome. I would talk with him about how he got his situation and what his plan is to get his feet back under him.
Post # 9
He may be broke as hell now, but how is his desire and will to succeed? And how was his money management ingeneral. Was he making 6 figures and blowing it all and just crashed when the market tanked since he didnt save? Was he just starting out and hadnt been able to save much yet when the market tanked? If the latter, I could live with that. If it was more like the first, I’d run. Money is not EVERYTHING, but its a BIG thing. For richer or for poorer is nice in theory, but then why is the number one reason for divorce finances?
Post # 10
I would marry him, but that’s because I am completely fine with having zero money. But I am one who would spend a year train-hopping and working in hostels and washing dishes for my daily food, and enjoy every minute of it. Thankfully, my fiance also shares this love of adventure. Neither of us would ever place money above our love towards each other.
Post # 11
Money runs out, but a stong love doesnt