(Closed) Lying Through His Teeth.. needing advice ASAP!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@dragonlover:  WTH???

Do you think there is a bigger chance of him moving to FL or giving you a ring???

Post # 4
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think you should let him know that you found out and have a serious talk with him about it.

Post # 5
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

He’s probably embarassed. I would give him space and time. There’s nothing worse than jumping down someone’s throat when they’re stressed/upset. 

Post # 6
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Calmly ask him what is going on and take it from there.  Let him do all the talking.  You listen.  Don’t jump to conclusions.  

He has not lied to you.  Evidently he lied to his housemates but I think guys tell stories to one another all the time.  Maybe he didn’t say anything to you because he didn’t want you to worry or because he wanted to handle it by himself. Hear what he has to say.  If he is planning on leaving, there is nothing you can do.  You can’t make him stay.  

I hope it works out.  Good luck.

Post # 9
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Maybe he told his housemates he was moving in with you because he intends to propose.  In your original post you stated that you would only live with him if you were engaged and had a date set.  Maybe he knows this and is making plans.  

I’m not telling you what to do, but I would calmly tell him what his housemate told you and ask what he plans to do out of concern.  I wouldn’t steer him nor accuse him.  Then add something like “I know you can handle this.” or “I know you have this all under control.”  and see what happens.

Post # 11
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

@dragonlover: It sounds like you said just the right thing! Men usually love that extra vote of confidence in uncertain times. Good luck! I’m really hoping there is a ring for you soon!

Post # 12
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well, I have been in a similar situation.  I told my boyfriend(now FI) that I wouldn’t move in with him until we were engaged.  I had to go to Spain for a few months for work and wanted to move out of my apartment and put my stuff in storage to save on rent.  He knew that I wouldn’t move in with him when I get back.  Before I left, he propose.  I agree with others post.  Guys only tell half truths when they are around their friends.  Guys are also very good at keeping something like proposing from us.  I had no idea and it was a complete shock.  If he is going to propose, let him surprise you.  It is so worth it!!

Post # 13
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@dragonlover:  Just be careful he’s not doing it out of convenience, or made that comment to “butter you up” so he won’t be homeless. Like you, I didn’t want to be living with my fiancee before I had my ring. Keep your boundaries clear with him. Good luck, I hope it works out for the best!

Post # 14
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@StuporDuck: I agree with you.  I sure hope he’s being sincere. 

Let us know how it goes OP, we hope you’ll get a ring and proposal soon with the best intentions. 

Post # 16
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

He’s a guy.  They get embarassed about such things.  I like that he didn’t want to worry you, and hope this is a precursor to an planned engagement (he may have planned it for your B-day long before learning of his upcoming eviction).  I’m not trying to raise false hopes, so temper that day with some reservation and try NOT to expect a ring, even though we all hope you get one.

If he’s not asked to move in with you, and he only has a set number of days to be out, I’d guess that’s not his first plan, knowing how you feel about it.  Just stick to your guns, and if he does ask without asking for your hand AND setting a date AND telling the world, then I’d calmly remind that you’d already stated wht you needed before you’d live together,a nd that even though you know he’s in a rough spot you can’t back down on your convictions and still be the girl he’s glad he’s got.

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