(Closed) Lying– Was I Duped into Marrying Him?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 122
Member
2875 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@smv22114:  Right – how many women on this list think their partners should view it as a deal breaker if they shaved 10 pounds off their weight when asked? Technically,  this is a lie. (I would have no issues telling a partner “none of your business” as a response)

Post # 123
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

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@nycsa:  Shaving ten pounds off of your weight is not even remotely in the same league as the stuff this guy has lied about. Failing to disclose a medical condition before marriage which will cost $30,000 to fix is grounds for annullment. 

This reminds me of the thread where the husband hid the fact that he prefers to shit in his pants instead of a toilet from his then-fiancee, and SURPRISE!, made sure she found a box of his DIAPERS on their honeymoon, right after the deal was sealed. Almost everyone in that thread was telling her to leave/get an annullment based on “fraud” because hiding things like that to trick someone into marriage is downright wrong. But because the nature of what OP’s husband is lying about isn’t as outwardly physically disgusting as a man lying about shitting in diapers, he’s largely given a pass and even given sympathy, despite the fact that he’s lying to and manipulating OP.

OP, I think your mom has valid reasons to not like this guy, and maybe you should have a candid talk with her about WHY she doesn’t like him and really take it to heart. Sometimes moms just like to meddle, but given the picture you’re painting I think there must be some legitimacy to what she’s feeling. There are red flags popping up left and right with him. He seems like a pathological liar, and the fact that he puts blame on others for his lies is toxic (like you’re to blame, because he is “scared” to be honest with you, or his parents were to blame for him not graduating college – that’s all bullshit). 

 

Post # 124
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

What will you do if he starts lying to your kids?

What will  you do if your kids start acting like him and lying about little things?

Post # 125
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I can’t get over the tooth problem expense, sorry.  That would bother me a great deal.  Then he tells you he does not want to wear dentures?  What exactly is your respose supposed to be to that?  In his own little way he has drug you into his expense.  The only thing I can say is that it may be worth checking into dental school.  Sometimes they have quite the sliding scale.  And theres also the option to get the work done someplace like Mexico where it is much cheaper.  People do things like this much more than you may think.  Good luck

Post # 126
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I am really surprised the “expense” keeps coming up. Dear OP, GOD FORBID but let’s say you had breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy. God Forbid. Your insurance covered the surgery but not the reconstruction. Do you think HE would be upset about the bill? I mean, reconstruction is cosmetic. It’s not medically necessary, prostheses are much cheaper and women have exercised that option for years. I bet he would take a second job flinging newspapers so that you could take whatever option YOU thought would make you feel better about yourself. Go WITH him to the dentist, discuss the appropriate treatment plans  and TOGETHER you guys decide what is the best option (and TOGETHER you pay for it). That’s how married folks handle their business. I’m sure it was just from the shock of it all….

Post # 127
Member
2875 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@1inthechamber:  I am really surprised it keeps coming up too. Dental work is expensive. One can assume that a partner will need some expensive dental work at some point, especially if it is obvious that the partner has bad teeth in the first place.

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