M-in-law registry drama

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
1904 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
purenuptial :  Is Mother-In-Law paying for any of the wedding? If she is paying, you will need to adjust the registry. If the two of you are paying for your own wedding, then plan the registry as you wish.

I see nothing wrong with a few board games, as long as they are adult games and not child games. These can be great if you have a dinner/game night for guest. However, I agree the video games are too childish IMO.  

Post # 3
Member
60 posts
Worker bee

I wouldn’t budge on this. Your registry has nothing to do with her – however your fiancé needs to be the one to push bsck on this since it’s their mother.  I rolled my eyes explaining to my fiancé why we weren’t putting a game console on the registry, so I may be a little biased with my aversion to video games but I see nothing wrong with the board games / other games for you guys to play together. A registry is full of things for the couple to build their home/life together – if you’re that couple that games together your crowd will know that and it will be fine. 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
1525 posts
Bumble bee

I’d quickly go in a buy them so you can’t take them off the list and they show in the purchased list 😜 “Sorry Mother-In-Law people loved the games!”

Post # 5
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Tell her to mind her own business

 

”MIL, we are not children. We do not need or want your opinion on what we have put on our registry. Please mind your own business. Thanks

 

OP and FI”

Post # 6
Member
614 posts
Busy bee

“We think our registry is perfectly appropriate. Out of respect for us, please do not ask us to change it again.”

You will get mixed opinions about putting games and video games on a registry but if someone doesn’t think they’re an appropriate gift, they will buy you something else.

Post # 7
Hostess
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Your Fiance should tell her to back off. Even if she’s paying for the wedding, she doesn’t get a say about the things on your registry. Board games are normal and acceptable to put on there – and it is usually one of our favorite gifts to give a newly married couple! 

My m-i-l made a similar fuss about an item on our registry. We just ignored her entirely. I couldn’t help but feel a little smug when the offensive (to her) item was among the first gifts we received at our shower. My m-i-l, on the other hand, didn’t even purchase a gift off the registry and gave a random collection of bizarre (and used!) items that got her a lot of side eye from other shower guests. 

 

Post # 8
Member
3381 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
purenuptial :  we skipped the registry, but totally used a gift card someone gave us for the wedding to buy a switch! 😂 I’m not into video games with the exception of Zelda, so i really wanted a switch. As long as the items on the registry are for BOTH of you, i think it’s perfectly fine. But if your FIance is the only one who plays video games, then I’d remove them. 

Post # 9
Member
13250 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Sorry, but have to agree with your Future Mother-In-Law that board games are really more appropriate to a children’s birthday party. If you are really so well off that you need nothing more to set up your home, then don’t register. 

Registries themselves are not fully approved by etiquette, but different sources do indeed hotly debate the appropriateness of alternative categories such as honeymoon funds, camping equipment and entertainment. If your future mother in law is telling you that the people she knows will roll their eyes at your request for toys and games, and find it cringeworthy, they probably will.

Post # 10
Member
2465 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I don’t see a problem with board games, as I come from a gaming family and it truly is a part of creating a warm and inviting home environment for us. Especially if it’s just a couple scattered amongst the registry. However, I am also side-eyeing the video game. I don’t think that’s something you give a couple for their wedding. It seems juvenile, and doesn’t fit the idea that a registry is for family and friends to help you create a household.

Like PP, I’m also a bit biased. I’m so glad my husband is not a gamer, and I’ve never understood when girlfriends talk about their husbands gaming for hours on end and this new fort-nite craze.

Post # 11
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My Future Mother-In-Law hs also OBSESSED over our registry too. She calls and lets us know when things have gone on sale and then keeps buying stuff from it in the low cost category – it’s like – we need those items for those people who can’t afford other things! It’s so annoying. Just set boundaries and put your FH in charge of dealing with his mother. It’s just a gift. If people don’t want to buy it for you – they won’t! My Future Mother-In-Law got offended that we put a honeymoon fund on our blue print registry. It doesn’t matter what she thinks!

Post # 12
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I’m generally a traditionalist when it comes to wedding stuff and registries, so I don’t see video game stuff as registry material.  That’s not to say it’s wrong to have that stuff, but it’s not typical or traditional, and some might view its inclusion as trashy/inappropriate.  I mean, my now-husband and I are overgrown dorks who love video games, and while we very much want a Switch, it would never have occurred to us to add it to our wedding registry (we didn’t register anywhere they sold video game consoles anyway).  And if we had, I would have gotten an earful from my parents like you wouldn’t believe (they are also traditionalists).  So we will buy one for ourselves for Christmas.

I could see older/more traditional relatives and guests scoff at/be put off by video game stuff on the registry and cause some unwanted snickering, side eyeing, and gossip.  If your Future Mother-In-Law had explained this reasoning as to why you should take that stuff off, that’d be an understandable request.  The “out of respect for me” reasoning seems weird though.

Post # 14
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I think a few board games are fine,  but I’d leave off the switch.  Then if people give you money,  use that to buy it.  Or tell your sibling that you have to take it off,  but would still like it if they run out of ideas. 

Generally,  I look for items on a registry that will last… and generally consoles are shorter lived than crystal or China. 

Post # 15
Member
433 posts
Helper bee

Maybe it’s generational but I would 100% rather buy a couple board games or video games than another set of dish towels. Condoms on a wedding registry is tacky. Fun things for the couple are not. I would much rather buy people something they actually want versus china  they thought they had to put on the list because it’s “tradition”. 

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