Post # 1
Fiance and I made our registry at bed bath and beyond thinking we’d be good just having a registry there. We’ve been living together for two years and we both have established most household items, but figured we would like towels, and new kitchenware that’s not from the thrift store or Walmart.
M-in-law said we needed to make a registry at Target… So I did.
We ended up putting items such as board games and small house decor items. We even decided a Nintendo switch would be a good idea to put on our registry.
Que m-in-law drama. She has called fiancee and texted me multiple times demanding we take down the games, ” A bridal shower is for the couple to set up a home, I know (fiance) might think it’s funny to have games..video stuff on the list, but it’s not. Please remove that kind of stuff. It’s not a birthday party.”
We kept the games on because we know that some people can’t afford dish sets, but can afford card/board games, and they would only buy the switch if they wanted too (probably will be purchased by a sibling if we get it). We both agree that games is a GREAT item for a registry. We both like to play games, and can use them for entertaining.
She called again and demanded we take the games off, “out of respect for her”
This isn’t her registry, this isn’t her wedding! She’s already invited every random person she meets on the street, and I have made changes for her that I did not want.
Post # 2
Is Mother-In-Law paying for any of the wedding? If she is paying, you will need to adjust the registry. If the two of you are paying for your own wedding, then plan the registry as you wish.
I see nothing wrong with a few board games, as long as they are adult games and not child games. These can be great if you have a dinner/game night for guest. However, I agree the video games are too childish IMO.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t budge on this. Your registry has nothing to do with her – however your fiancé needs to be the one to push bsck on this since it’s their mother. I rolled my eyes explaining to my fiancé why we weren’t putting a game console on the registry, so I may be a little biased with my aversion to video games but I see nothing wrong with the board games / other games for you guys to play together. A registry is full of things for the couple to build their home/life together – if you’re that couple that games together your crowd will know that and it will be fine.
Post # 4
I’d quickly go in a buy them so you can’t take them off the list and they show in the purchased list 😜 “Sorry Mother-In-Law people loved the games!”
Post # 5
Tell her to mind her own business
”MIL, we are not children. We do not need or want your opinion on what we have put on our registry. Please mind your own business. Thanks
OP and FI”
Post # 6
“We think our registry is perfectly appropriate. Out of respect for us, please do not ask us to change it again.”
You will get mixed opinions about putting games and video games on a registry but if someone doesn’t think they’re an appropriate gift, they will buy you something else.
Post # 7
Your Fiance should tell her to back off. Even if she’s paying for the wedding, she doesn’t get a say about the things on your registry. Board games are normal and acceptable to put on there – and it is usually one of our favorite gifts to give a newly married couple!
My m-i-l made a similar fuss about an item on our registry. We just ignored her entirely. I couldn’t help but feel a little smug when the offensive (to her) item was among the first gifts we received at our shower. My m-i-l, on the other hand, didn’t even purchase a gift off the registry and gave a random collection of bizarre (and used!) items that got her a lot of side eye from other shower guests.
Post # 8
we skipped the registry, but totally used a gift card someone gave us for the wedding to buy a switch! 😂 I’m not into video games with the exception of Zelda, so i really wanted a switch. As long as the items on the registry are for BOTH of you, i think it’s perfectly fine. But if your FIance is the only one who plays video games, then I’d remove them.
Post # 9
Sorry, but have to agree with your Future Mother-In-Law that board games are really more appropriate to a children’s birthday party. If you are really so well off that you need nothing more to set up your home, then don’t register.
Registries themselves are not fully approved by etiquette, but different sources do indeed hotly debate the appropriateness of alternative categories such as honeymoon funds, camping equipment and entertainment. If your future mother in law is telling you that the people she knows will roll their eyes at your request for toys and games, and find it cringeworthy, they probably will.
Post # 10
I don’t see a problem with board games, as I come from a gaming family and it truly is a part of creating a warm and inviting home environment for us. Especially if it’s just a couple scattered amongst the registry. However, I am also side-eyeing the video game. I don’t think that’s something you give a couple for their wedding. It seems juvenile, and doesn’t fit the idea that a registry is for family and friends to help you create a household.
Like PP, I’m also a bit biased. I’m so glad my husband is not a gamer, and I’ve never understood when girlfriends talk about their husbands gaming for hours on end and this new fort-nite craze.
Post # 11
My Future Mother-In-Law hs also OBSESSED over our registry too. She calls and lets us know when things have gone on sale and then keeps buying stuff from it in the low cost category – it’s like – we need those items for those people who can’t afford other things! It’s so annoying. Just set boundaries and put your FH in charge of dealing with his mother. It’s just a gift. If people don’t want to buy it for you – they won’t! My Future Mother-In-Law got offended that we put a honeymoon fund on our blue print registry. It doesn’t matter what she thinks!
Post # 12
I’m generally a traditionalist when it comes to wedding stuff and registries, so I don’t see video game stuff as registry material. That’s not to say it’s wrong to have that stuff, but it’s not typical or traditional, and some might view its inclusion as trashy/inappropriate. I mean, my now-husband and I are overgrown dorks who love video games, and while we very much want a Switch, it would never have occurred to us to add it to our wedding registry (we didn’t register anywhere they sold video game consoles anyway). And if we had, I would have gotten an earful from my parents like you wouldn’t believe (they are also traditionalists). So we will buy one for ourselves for Christmas.
I could see older/more traditional relatives and guests scoff at/be put off by video game stuff on the registry and cause some unwanted snickering, side eyeing, and gossip. If your Future Mother-In-Law had explained this reasoning as to why you should take that stuff off, that’d be an understandable request. The “out of respect for me” reasoning seems weird though.
Post # 13
We’re not really asking for specific games. We want the console because that particular console can be used for playing together. And that’s how we would use it. Before my sister got married her bf/fiancee would bring his Wii over so we could ALL play as a family, and that’s how we would use ours. To play games together, stream videos/movies, and invite parents and friends for game night on the nitendo and board/card games.
And… Keep in mind that she also wants us to make Meijer and Walmart registries! I already added target, I’m not adding. More registries.
Post # 14
I think a few board games are fine, but I’d leave off the switch. Then if people give you money, use that to buy it. Or tell your sibling that you have to take it off, but would still like it if they run out of ideas.
Generally, I look for items on a registry that will last… and generally consoles are shorter lived than crystal or China.
Post # 15
Maybe it’s generational but I would 100% rather buy a couple board games or video games than another set of dish towels. Condoms on a wedding registry is tacky. Fun things for the couple are not. I would much rather buy people something they actually want versus china they thought they had to put on the list because it’s “tradition”.