M-in-law registry drama

posted 1 year ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 31
Member
10078 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Add condoms and lube.

Post # 32
Member
2131 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

“She is trying to control you and it will not stop here. I dont care if she paid for the whole damn wedding, it’s a gift. There are no contingencies when you are planning your wedding. No, “I’ll pay for your dress, but it has to be blue.” If people are doing that, they are using money as a form of control over you and your FI’s decisions.”

Totally agree with this. I hate this idea that if someone is contributing to the wedding, they get total control over every aspect of it. I understand getting a certain number of invites. It would be uncouth of a couple to accept money from a parent and then deny them the opportunity to invite guests themselves. However, anything else is going beyond the reasonable expectations of accepting a gift, and the strings should be disclosed ahead of time: “Connie, we’d like to pay for half of the wedding but on the condition that the band play only swing music and the cake be carrot with cream cheese frosting.” Than the couple can decide whether this is OK with them and accept the money of not.

Post # 35
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

Why in the world should a couple be required to ask for dish towels and toothbrush holders if they already have them? What is with the complusion to be wasteful? 

Clearly, OP doesn’t already have these games or the Switch. They are things they can have to help host parties, or just to spend time together as a couple. 

Can we take off our wedding/etiquette goggles and seriously, critically think about why that’s a problem? Why is worth anyone’s energy to care? I’m genuinely flummoxed why anyone would have a negative reaction to a new couple looking for something fun to do. 

I don’t get it, y’all. If you really hate it, be grateful you aren’t invited and aren’t expected to buy anything off of the registry. If you do get asked to buy something off of a similar registry, then go for the dishes or a simple check and invest your energy elsewhere.

Honestly OP, I think it’s genius, and I’m stealing it. Knowing my friends and family, they’ll be so excited to stock our game cabinet instead of getting porceline dishes that will just collect dust.

Post # 36
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with board games. I’ve always found it neat to see a few fun items mixed in with kitchen/household items on registries. We had a murder mystery dinner party kit on ours and received it.

 

Have your Fiance tell his mother that it’s none of her business.

Post # 37
Member
1107 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m so curious what reason she gave for wanting you to create multiple different registries. It’s not like you registered at some tiny store with no website or a specialty store that only sells one thing; your original registry was more than sufficient. I would just have your Fiance tell her, “Mom, we added a registry at your request even though we didn’t want one, and now you are trying to control what we put on it. It’s unecessary and we didn’t want it in the first place, so we’re just going to take the whole thing down.” 

Also I think games are fine on a a registry, especially when the couple already has all the household stuff they need and people still want to gift them things.

Post # 38
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

purenuptial :  “MIL, thanks for your thoughts. We’ll consider it.” Then ignore her forever. She doesn’t get to micromanage your registry.

Post # 39
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I’d tell her to keep out of it. She has some nerve dictating what you can/can’t put on your registry. 

Games and gaming systems can be used for the couple to bond or entertain guests. That’s a perfect item for a registry.

I’d side-eye a $400 set-of-two champagne flute set. 

Post # 40
Member
9 posts
Newbee

OMG are our MILs related?? Mine got pissed at my fiance for adding items that cost over $100 (pot & pan set, bakeware set, etc.) and generally has an opinion on everything… when she has contributed literally NOTHING to this wedding. She keeps interjecting her opinion about everything to my FH and I’m at my limit with her. At least he doesn’t let her walk all over him, and generally ignores her whining.  

My best suggestion is to… *cough* screw her feelings *cough* and do what you want. 😀

It’s you and your fiance’s future, not her’s. Also, if she’s grand-baby crazy, you have “the power of the womb”; flex at will.

Post # 41
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2021 - British Columbia, Canada

I disagree in the notion that if people don’t choose to pay for their own weddings, that any others who are contributing money towards the day automatically get the defining say in matters such as this. It’s YOUR registry, for YOUR wedding – tell your fiance he needs to control his mother.

Post # 42
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I am baffled by how many people think board games are ok but video games are not. Bizarre.

I think they are both quite cute.

Anyway I am a philistine who is having a honeymoon gift list and could not care less what people think. We are in our 40s and 50s combining 2 houses, the last thing I need is more towels… 

Post # 43
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Tizer Gardens/Carroll College

hannahshope:  Any time I see board games on a wedding registry, I go full tilt and make it an entire theme basket so that the couple and their friends (hopefully me and my husband) can have fun for years to come! I have a cabinet filled with games, and we often have game nights in the winter to relieve boredom when it’s too cold/dark to do anything else. I make some soup, friends bring treats, we gorge ourselves, and have a blast. Screw anyone who doesn’t see the fun in the making!

Post # 44
Member
726 posts
Busy bee

I think and couple that registers for board games is a down to earth, fun couple. I would certainly be excited to purchase games for a wedding, it’s cute and quirky 😊 I have no idea why people are asking why is paying for the wedding, as it doesn’t matter in the slightest. Keep the games, I actually wish I thought of that for my wedding 😁

Just don’t engage in this conversation with her again, it is your registry for your wedding, enjoy!!!

Post # 45
Member
4081 posts
Honey bee

Please register for cards against humanity.

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