- 6 years ago
I don’t know who is wrong here. Please Bee’s I need your help.
Future Mother-In-Law is very controlling with her childern. I am very independent…. See the problem.
So we are getting closer to our wedding which is July 7. We currently do not live together. He lives with his brother and I am home with my parents. We are going to sing the lease on our apartment in May and we will move in June. His mom is out of the country and will be back on May 10. So I have been telling him at the begining of this month that we need to put our apartment aside with the lease office because the floor plan we want is only available in 10 units.
Here is were the problem come in…. He wants to wait until his mom comes back to the U.S. so the she can “see” the apartment. He said we are getting it but wants to make her feel that she was involved.
I do not think this is a good idea since we have already had problems with her trying to control the wedding. I put an end to that very quickly but I still have that in the back of my head.
So I have been telling him that its not a good idea to do that because he needs to start to set bounderies with his mom. He said that once we are married he will completely cut the umbilical cord…..I am like “Excuse me?”
If we are going to get married in two months……the umbilical cord should of been cut off a LONNNNNGGGGG time ago.
So I tell him that it will be better to preper her to how thing will work in OUR marriage now instead of having to wait until we have a fight. If we get in to a faight again I do not want to be rude to his mom but if push come to shove I am going to stick up for my self and him as well. It is so frustrating that he is acting like that. I am willing to fully support him but he will not do the same for me.
Guess what his response is…. Okay we will deal with it then.
Okay I am a very straight foward person. I hate beating arounf the bush. If his mom acts up the way she has in the past she will problably get a “It is not up tp you to make this decison” or if she is acting like a chils again a “It is non of your business” would be more appropeate.
I tell him that It would be better for everyone to set limits now. Why should I have to respond back to his mom back in a rude way.
Now he gets upset because I told him that i would be rude to his mom if she treats me the way she has treated me in the past. He said that under NO circumtances should I be rude to his parents.
Now Keep in mind this is the same woman that told use to go to hell and she is not coming to the wedding, told me to have a Mexican wedding (I have no idea what she ment on that one) OH and bad mounthed me to all of his family becuase we booked our venue with out taking her to get the final say so.
Like I have said before I am very indepentent and I am not a push over. I am not going to ask for permision to do thing that I have to do. I don’t even ask my own parent for permission much less his mom. I am 26 and he is 28 we are adults! I wake up at 6:00 am to go to work to pay for my things and I am almost done with my acctouting degree. I am not a child! WTH! Not happening!
So am I overreacting?