(Closed) Mad at my houseguest and my husband!

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 18
Member
3228 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

 

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amla:  People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. You let it go for 2 weeks – chauffeuring her around, cooking for her children, just in general letting her and her children take advantage of you. You should have put your foot down the first day they wanted you to entertain them despite you having to work. Hopefully your friendship won’t be permenantly damaged and you can get along again once you’ve had some space. 

Post # 19
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Everything that you mention happened to me a few months ago. And then again a week ago with another houseguest, because I didn’t learn my lesson with the first one. After many fights between the two of us because of this, Darling Husband and I have decided not to receive anyone else in our home again. I was asked by another friend if her family and her could spend their holidays here in september and I said no. I apologized for the inconvenience, but told her that we prefer to be alone because we had a lot of company lately and we don’t feel comfortable. She seemed to understand, but if she didn’t well.. It is what it is. 

Post # 21
Member
4766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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amanda1988:  If you set out to use someone, you’re a bad friend or IMO, a non-friend.  It’s not about being a bad houseguest.  This lady clearly set out to use OP as a free hotel, car rental, and tour guide eventhough OP told her what she does and doesn’t do beforehand.  

So many of my firends have stayed with me and none of them ever behaved this way.  The only person who did was a non friend, my SIL, which is expected of her and obligatory of me to comply.

Post # 22
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

You should not have told her that it would be no problem without checking with your husband first.  Yeah, his reaction wasn’t great but just be glad he was nice enough to put up with her for a week to begin with – it is not easy to have a houseguest.

Post # 23
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Oh my. Why was she in town anyway? just to visit you?

Also, how rude of her to expect you to cook for her kids.

Post # 25
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee

I kinda hate overnight guests. My BFF came with his girlfriend once. I did not realize he was bringing her and it put me in such an uncomfortable spot because I am adamantly opposed to unmarried people sleeping together in my house. Had I known she was coming, I’d have made arrangements for her. It was late…I let it slide… I handed out towels and since she had Kardashian-styled eye makeup on, I included a (new) plain white washcloth for her as well as the colored one that came with the set. I specifically said, THIS IS FOR MAKEUP. WATERPROOF MASCARA IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET OUT. I buy cheap plain white washcloths by the dozen specifically for that purpose. When I went down there to gather the laundry after they left there was a splooge of mascara all over my good cloth and the white one was untouched. Hussy. Now he is mad because he wants to stay here again and I will not allow her back. He better keep that crazy bitch out of my sight. Martex Grand Patrician towels are expensive and I’m salty about that little wash cloth.

Guests that don’t behave well, don’t get invited again and denied when they request it. Sometimes that doesn’t work out well for the friendship in general but that’s ok too. REAL friends don’t impose.

Post # 26
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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leilarobs2:  lololol the washcloth rant kind of makes you sound like a crazy person but I am right there with you! I hate when people leave stains all over my nice towels. “Martex Grand Patrician…” I’m dying!

Post # 27
Member
4766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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leilarobs2:  Wait, she’s a crazy bith and a hussy beasue she didn’t use the correct washcloth?  um wow.

Post # 28
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee

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Atalanta:  She absolutely is! We SPECIFICALLY had a conversation about makeup on the towels. I didn’t just leave her hanging, I gave her a solution to prevent makeup on the towels. “Here…use THIS ONE for your makeup.” She isn’t mentally deficient and she understood what I said! So for her to remove her makeup with my good towel ANYWAY is a huge F* YOU. As a result, she isn’t welcome back here. 

The cloth was ruined and required replacement btw. It was yellow and the black streaks never came out. 

That chick is trouble anyway. I was super nice to her – welcomed her into my home, cooked her food, and showed them a great time and all I got from her was a continuous stream of snark. You know how you can kinda tell when someone is making fun of you?? I made beef short ribs for dinner and we were in the kitchen talking while I made them and she would ask questions while I cooked because she’d never had them before. Well the guys RAVED about those short ribs at dinner and she put her pinky in the air and said, “hmmm…must be all that sherry…she cooks with sherry you know”. Everyone had a good laugh and whatever, that’s fine but she made more than the sherry comment about my stuff (the rowing machine was another target for her snark) that made me feel hmmm… I’ve been friends with my BFF over 20 years and I think he raves about me too much or something. She definitely had some underlying issues. 

Bottom line, I don’t want her here. She can dislike and disrespect me everywhere on the planet she wants to…not HERE though. I don’t deal in passive aggressive. If that makes me crazy, that’s cool. I’ll be crazy. 

Post # 29
Member
720 posts
Busy bee

I live near the beach and when I first moved down here, all the locals told me I’d have ‘friends’ crawling out of the woodwork to come stay with me during the summer.  I laughed at the time but it turns out they were 100% spot on!  Friends who I didn’t hear from all winter are now suddenly wanting to come down and “catch up” and “crash” on my couch in my tiny one bedroom apartment!  I’ve had houseguests for 4 weekends out of June and July and I am beyond over it.  I don’t like houseguests at the best of times but so many in such a tiny space?  Worst thing of all is that since it’s only for a few days at a time they all expect the red carpet to be rolled out since it’s “just for a few days.”  I cook I clean I treat to dinners.  It’s been expensive stressful and suffocating.  One had such a good time she immediately invited herself back for a few months later!  Thank god this will be my one and only summer living here.  I’ve told Fiance that if we ever won the lottery and bought a beach house, I would tell NO ONE about it lol.  

OP next time just say no to houseguests.  You’re either ‘busy’ ‘out of town’ or some combination of the two.  

Post # 30
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Your poor husband!!  He needs and deserves a big hug and a heartfelt thank you!

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