- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2017
I wanted to elope. My Fiance wanted to elope. My parents acted hurt by it, and there was lots of pressure to have a wedding. I kept going back and forth, trying to please everyone, (yes, I’m stupid for this, but it’s hard to see your mom and know she’ll hold something against you forever). I thought of a private wedding, but we always worried that including some guests and not others would cause hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Plus, we each have a grandparent who is taken care of by relatives, so to have the grandparent come, would mean those aunts coming, and then you can’t really invite some aunts but not all.
So, I give in. I agree to have a wedding, and Fiance seemed excited, so i thought okay, this will be okay. We start looking at venues, and my mom calls me one day to complain about all of the pricing. She wanted me to have a wedding so bad, but she wanted me to have it in a church she knows, because it’d be free. My Fiance and i don’t go to that church, have no connection to that church, didn’t like the look of it for our wedding, and just didn’t want to get married there. There was a week of tears as I kept telling my mom that this was one reason why I wanted to elope, and her getting upset. I don’t want to spend money on a wedding, I’d rather save it and elope, but if she’s going to pay for it, Fiance and I still need to have some say in where we get married.
I finally find a venue that’s a reasonable cost. That whole week my mom and I were insanely stressed (we’re only 5 months away from the wedding – short engagement). My poor Fiance, guys. Today, my mom signed the papers for the venue. She calls me again. All upset because of the liability stuff. There’s no rehearsal included. Because of all the stress with the venue search, and because of the fact that she didn’t like signing the contract and what it entailed, she now wants me to plan everything and her just give me the set budget amount. I don’t have time with where my work is right now to plan anything. I have a crazy year ahead of me. My Fiance is 3 hours away, most of the time, and can’t help.
I am at a complete loss for how to do anything. We don’t have a wedding song picked out. We don’t have a baker for the cake, florist, engagement pictures set, photographer, invitations, honeymoon suite booked. Nothing. I go dress shopping this weekend. Beyond that, I truly just want to not do the rest and just not have it. We booked a DJ with the venue, who cares if I have flowers or pictures.
I know this is all my own fault. I didn’t stand firm for myself, and ignore what everyone else wanted. I was weak and gave in, and now I’m paying the price. But my mom, who wanted me to have a wedding so badly, now just wants to drop a check at my feet and show up.
TL:DR – Fiance and I wanted to elope. My family (mom in particular) were against that, and highly upset about it. I gave in. My mom now doesn’t want to plan anything and expects me to do everything for something I never even wanted. It’s too late to back out – deposit paid, venue booked, family awaiting invitations.