- 7 years ago
This account is an alias being used for the standard reason – I’d hate for someone I know to see me posting this under my regular username.
That being said, I’m in need of a bit of advice m’dears. I have a small bridal party that is comprised of a matron-of-honor and maid-of-honor, henceforth referred to as Jill and Jane, respectively. The girls kindly offered to host my bridal shower and bachelorette party and for that I am very thankful.
Ok, painfully long story short, it’s a month until the bridal shower and Jane has been opposed to all of Jill’s ideas and suggestions, is not available to get together to do anything despite repeated attempts by Jill to contact her, and is busy with her own things in general. That’s totally fine, because Jill is very excited to plan and thus, with time ticking away, took it upon herself to pick a location, theme, invites, etc.
When Jane found out that Jill had gone ahead and made these decisions (the shower is a month away for Pete’s sake – invites need to go out) she got very upset and proceeded to come to me to say that she was hurt and being left out, went to Future Brother-In-Law to say the same thing, went to Future Mother-In-Law to share her woes, went to MY mother to complain and is constantly bringing it up to Jill. Jill has since apologized and said that she simply wanted to get the ball rolling and that since she has more free time than Jane she thought she was doing a favor by taking on the responsibilities.
So dear bees, is there anything I can do to make this situation better? I understand why Jane feels left out, but in blunt reality she was given numerous opportunities to be a part of everything but never took up the offers.
Oh! A smidge of backstory that’s relevant, Jane was Jill’s Maid/Matron of Honor when Jill got married. Jane offered to throw Jill’s bachelorette party. Jane put things off and never took any action to the point that it was a week before Jill’s party and Jill had to start making arrangements, inviting guests, making a game plan, etc. so that there’d be something planned for that night. Literally the DAY OF her bachelorette party, Jane contacts Jill and throws a fit because Jill had made plans. We all wanted to pull our hair out because if you want to plan something you need to do it BEFORE it’s the day of the event. Thus, Jane has a history of dropping the ball when it comes to things she’s offered to do.
Annnnd…that’s it, I think. Please let me know if I’m completely off base in my opinions and what, if anything, I can do to help Jane let go of her hurt feelings so that we can all move on and enjoy these last few months til the wedding.