Post # 1
Okay, I am having the most difficult time deciding my maid of honor. Maybe I am making it more difficult than it needs to be but I need advice! I have decided on 5 bridesmaids. Two of the five are two of my very best friends.Let’s call them “Friend A” and “Friend L”. We all three met our freshman year in high school and have shared a close bond ever since. We have been inseparable the past 12 years and I even lived as roomates with “Friend A” for a couple years. Anyway, we are all extremely close and I am afraid of hurting ones feelings by choosing the other. My heart tells me to pick” Friend A”, however,” Friend L” is more sensitive and I’m fearful of upsetting her. I’ve even considered having two maids of honor?? Anyone ever had two or just had to choose between two friends? Any advice is greatly appreciated!
Post # 2
I wouldn’t have 2 MOH’s.
It’s not the classiest thing… but I decided between my two best friends by setting up a drinking contest lol. They are pretty evenly matched so it was a fair fight, and I didn’t have to feel guilty about which one I chose. My girls are real laid back and see the funny side in everything though, I don’t know what your friends are like.
Don’t forget to take into account their interest in weddings, other obligations and committments, finances and all of that. If there is one who will find it considerably easier than the other, then I would go with that person and justify my choice by avoiding the burden on the one that misses out. For example, I didn’t even ask my super close longest friend to be bridesmaid as she’s juggling full-time uni, working and a 3 year old as a single mum. I spoke to her about it straight away and while she said she was disappointed, she also said she was relieved as it would have been a huge stress to her.
Hope that helps!
Post # 3
I’d go with two maids of honour (or if one is married, you can have one maid and one matron). If they are equally important to you, I would include them equally. I wouldn’t make them compete over the position or anything (unless that’s their thing).
Post # 4
Pick friend A. Friend L will probably be hurt but it will pass, and she will still have an important role. I’ve been in Friend L’s shoes before and while it hurt at first, I understood that it was the bride’s choice and not mine. If she is a polite person she will not say anything.
Post # 5
I had two, my sister & my best friend. Fiance had two best men as well.
Post # 6
Another option is no maid of honor. Just call them all bridesmaids. That’s what I did (though I only had two bridesmaids).
That said, if your heart says A and you’re closer to A, then pick her. Fear of upsetting L isn’t a good reason to make L Maid/Matron of Honor. I’ve been the sensitive girl (and longest friend) who wasn’t made Maid/Matron of Honor – it hurt a little but I got over it and enjoyed being a bridesmaid.
Post # 7
RedFox96: I’m not sure if someone already suggested this, but what about not having a maid of honor? One of my best friends didn’t have a maid of honor because she has two best friends and a sister.
Post # 8
Thank you all for your advice! I really, really appreciate it!
Post # 9
Do you have a sister or a close female cousin? If so, make it easy and pick one of them as the Maid/Matron of Honor. Everyone will understand if you put a family member in that role, and that way you don’t have to make your best friends compete. And then just explain to them on the sly that you consider them both equally important, and this was your way of avoiding hurt feelings.
I’m actually planning on doing something similar, except in reverse lol. I’m one of five female first cousins, but I’m only really close to one of them and would want her in the wedding party. To avoid any family conflict of which cousin is the Maid/Matron of Honor, I’m going to make my best friend the Maid/Matron of Honor and just have my cousin as a bridesmaid. And if anyone squawks, I’ll just say that all the other cousins have kids and didn’t want to impose that extra time and expense. BAM! Family drama averted 😛