(Closed) Maid of Honor Drama

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Who should be the MOH
    C : (41 votes)
    69 %
    D : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Both : (16 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 3
    303 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    This sounds similar to me. In my case, I had chosen D to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I’ve known her my whole life, she moved to a new city when we were in our pre-teens, we were always excited to see each other when we did get to. But we have grown apart. She doesn’t tell me details about her life any more, we reminisced a lot. Because we have known each other so long, It was obvious to our families that I choose her. Long story short, we are no longer friends and she is not my Maid/Matron of Honor anymore.

    In my life, I went to high school with C, she is the sweetest girl, so patient, oh I love her to bits. We grew apart at one point because she met a boy (now her husband) but we grew closer again for the past 2 years. She is so excited that I am getting married and our friendship is what it was back in high school. It’s so fantastic. The next time I see her face to face I’m going to ask her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.

    My point is, don’t choose over obligation. C seems to be the best choice. D has let you down, she already has let you down. C has gone above and beyond and she’s not your Maid/Matron of Honor. I hope this helped!


    Post # 4
    281 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I chose my C to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and had my D as one of my bridesmaids.  It worked out great in the end.  C was there everytime I needed her, and a great friendship got even closer.  D let me down a few times, but it was less distressing than it could have been, and she pulled it together in the end and the weekend of my wedding was perfect.

    Post # 5
    514 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Even when I am a bridesmaid, I go above and beyond. Some people are just like that and some are not so even if you picked C as a bridesmaid, she would probably still do all of those things. However, it also sounds like C is your closer friend and D was your closer friend. Live in the present and pick C. Picking both is ok as long as C knows she will have to do all the work.

    Post # 7
    505 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    YIKES!!  Good luck with this one.  Can you make C the Maid of Honor and D the Matron of Honor since technically she is still married?  

    Post # 9
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    i think there is nothing wrong with two MOHs

    Post # 10
    15 posts
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I had a similar situation, and I chose my version of C, and made D a bridesmaid.  I could not be happier.  C has been there for me all the way, and D has let me down a couple of times, but it hasn’t been a big deal.  I was upfront with D that C was in a better position to help me out with the actual planning and grunt work, and she seemed to understand.  

    I would caution against choosing both.  C will inevitably bear the brunt of the load, and may start to feel resentful towards D (is sounds like there may already be tension between the two women).  It sounds like you’ve made up your own mind as to what who you would like to rely on, and now you’re just trying to keep everyone happy.  But it’s your wedding!!  Do what makes you happiest! 🙂

    Post # 11
    223 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I was also in a very similar situation. I have such an honest and open relation with C though, that I sat down with her and talked it all through. She was very level headed and rational.  C also reassured me that regardless of who I “picked” she would put in the same amount of effort. Together, C and I came to the conclusion that the “title” of Maid/Matron of Honor just meant so much to D, that it was worth saving the drama by just making D the Maid/Matron of Honor. (In other words, C said her feelings wouldn’t be hurt, but D’s would DEFINITELY be hurt) It made me fall that much more in love with C.  I know, it sounds crappy to C, but it was actually C who suggested it.  She didn’t want the tension between her and D, and she’s not one for “labels” and “tltles.” If possible, have an HONEST talk with C about her feelings and she might be able to give you a solution that works. Maybe she will mind sharing the title; maybe she won’t–you won’t know for sure unless you ask her directly.  This might not make sense to other women out there, but trust me, C and I are on the same page about EVERYTHING and she has been 110% there for me still!

    Post # 13
    1876 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    C C C C!!!

    This girl is there for you, and that’s what you need. Tell D that you just didn’t want to add any more stress to her life. You’re so excited she’s going to be up there with you and you didn’t want to burden her with any of the Maid/Matron of Honor tasks.

    Post # 14
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I was in a similar situation (forever best friend but don’t see her for months at a time) and “everyday” best friend of a few years. My situation was way less extreme though because my “forever” best friend has never done anything wrong… we just live in different areas and she’s not super great at keeping in touch so we only talk every few months and see each other a few times/year. I agonized over this because I was afraid picking my “C” would hurt her too much and everyone did assume that my “D” would be my Maid/Matron of Honor. In the end I picked “C.” The bottom line was that she was going to be the one who was really THERE for me regardless of her title… she would be my Maid/Matron of Honor. So I really wanted to honor her by giving her the title that went along with what I knew she’d be to me anyways. And yes, I do think D was a little hurt although she never flat out said that or made me feel badly about it. I’m so glad that things worked out like they did because honestly I think having a Maid/Matron of Honor who was so hard to get hold of would just be really frustrating to me.

    Post # 15
    73 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Do you have to have a MOH?  Why not just have all of them be BMs without singling one out as MOH?

    Post # 16
    60 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I had 4 women in my wedding party and I referred to them all as Women of Honor. There really are no rules.

    The topic ‘Maid of Honor Drama’ is closed to new replies.

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