Post # 1
I’m a little stressed and I’d like to know what you guys think. Should I expect the maid of honor to research her role or should I provide her with the information myself? I have really resonable expectations (respond to my emails, buy a dress, etc), nothing crazy.
What do you think?
Post # 3
I would just assume she would know. Maybe ask her what her bm dress budget is, just so you’re both clear on the expectations!
Post # 4
Mine is suppose to get her dress and is helping with the shower, other than that she’ll listen to me vent if she has time. (She knew she was suppose to do this she has been a Maid/Matron of Honor before)
I think it depends on the person if the want to help they’ll offer, if not just make sure they help with the shower and get a dress 🙂
Post # 5
If you think she should have a clear-cut idea of what you expect from her…you should provide the info (otherwise, she will end up leaving something out that you otherwise were expecting). There are plenty of websites that provide Maid/Matron of Honor checklists that you can send her to. Or, make it fun. Print a couple off, pour a glass of wine and giggle over some of the ridiculous things that you wouldn’t EVER ask her to do! 🙂
Post # 6
Even if she did research it, whatever webpage she reads might say something different than what your expectations were. You can’t expect her to fulfill your expectations if you don’t tell her what they are.
Post # 7
Just juding by this broad alone people have wildly different ideas on what the moh duties are. Some people think they should be co planner and doiing all the diy projects, planning multiple shower, and the whole shebang which I personally think is a bit much. She can get wildly different information by looking it up. You are bride and it’s your job to set the tone, perhaps asking for things.
I don’t think there is a reason to be stressed about this, be reasonable, and tell her some expectations you have, and what you like her role to be, ask her if she can meet those, then depending on her answer compromise or accept how much she feels she can contribute to this process.
Post # 8
YOu should definitely talk to her about how you’d like to her help you out, while always being mindful of time and money. I totally agree with MsMindle! Make it fun, because a lot of wedding planning can get pretty stressful really quickly.
But there is NOT a set list of Maid/Matron of Honor duties if you ask me, at least up until the day of the wedding! I have two MOHs (yup, that’s right… two BFFs and both wanted to be Maid/Matron of Honor, so why not?) and they both live in Seattle, 2000 miles from my home in Houston. They are buying dresses, and other than that the only big thing they’re doing in advance is helping give me advice on pictures I email them, and providing moral support on the phone about once a week. Anyways, sorry, I’m rambling, but my point is that as long as you’re respectful you can ask your Maid/Matron of Honor to help with whatever YOU need help with. But you should let her know, and not just wait and expect her to figure it out.
Post # 9
The problem is I fear I waited too long! The conversation will inevitably be that I am disappointed, no matter how I word it. I think I have to not worry about her getting a dress, lean on other people to discuss the wedding, and not worry about the bachelorette party. I can just talk to her about what I would need help with the day of the wedding.