Post # 1
I just got the worst news this morning. A little background about me, I recently moved to Istanbul, Turkey from the States and am planning for our wedding here in Turkey for the Summer. Most of my family and friends will be coming to Istanbul from the States.
My maid of honor just wrote me a long email apologizing repeatedly, saying she and her husband and kids will not be able to come to our wedding due to financial reasons. She is the wife of my uncle by the way. Not only are they my closest relatives, she is like my best friend more than an aunt. I can understand financial reasons as it is not cheap to come to Turkey, but I just think haven’t they considered other options. Like they could come for 4 days, and leave the kids with another family member who is not coming. They could stay with relatives here instead of a hotel. They don’t have to take a family vacation in Turkey after our wedding.
I feel like because they can not do all these things they are backing down. If it were me, I would come for even two days. It’s my best friend’s wedding and I am the maid of honor. Is it going to kill me to pay $1,200. My Maid/Matron of Honor and uncle could even stay with us. I know that would be a little nerve racking before the wedding to host guests, but I don’t mind at all if that would help them financially. There are soo many alternatives.
As a bride, I guess it is so difficult to completely understand the other side. This is the most important day of our lives, and we want the most important people in our lives to be there to share this time. Money can always be earned somehow some way. But this kind of stuff happens once in a lifetime :*(
Post # 3
Money is the biggest factor.. Some people just realistically cant afford it. I was invited for one of best friends wedding in england, I couldnt make it.. I tried and tried, but I was going to be about 1k short. I was SOO devestated when reality set in that I just couldnt afford to go. I think she is hurting just as much as you are, thats why shes apologizing.
Sometimes life just gets the way, least you know she will be there in spirit, Im sure she is super excited for you.
Post # 4
I’m sorry you’re feeling hurt. Sometimes we really don’t know the complete story.
Post # 5
Sometimes even $1200 is not feasbile financially. There have been weddings near my hometown that I have not been able to attend because of expense and work committments that have broken my heart. With children at home the financial strains become even more painfully evident. As an earlier poster stated, I’m sure she is hurting just as much as you are and try to be as understanding as possible.
Post # 6
And if they have kids, sometimes it’s more than money. It sounds liek they won’t be in school, but just the idea of traveling with kids is exhausting. (Not sure of their ages.) But bringing them certainly increases the cost of travel.
Post # 7
I think you need to take a step back and realize how ridiculous you sound. You want her to fly half way around the world only to stay two days, just so she can attend your wedding? I’m sorry, but that’s just crazy. And on top of it, you want her to pay to fly half way around the world only to stay for two days. Did you offer to pay for her trip? Not everyone is comfortable leaving their children behind while they travel outside of the country, $1,200 is not pocket change, and Turkey is not next door. If having everyone important to you at your wedding is important to you, maybe you should have had your wedding in the U.S. where most of those people are.
I know it’s easy to get caught up in something that’s important to you, but I think you need to remember that it’s your wedding. It matters a whole lot more to you than it does to those attending.
Post # 8
to lilybee – you obviously don’t know the whole story, so basically it may appear that i’m getting caught up in what is important to me. i’m not expecting anyone. it’s the mere fact that she, her husband (who is my mom’s younger brother) mean alot to me, and i’m upset that life must get in the way to make things difficult for her to come here. her husband is turkish, so they come to Turkey on vacation all the time, and travel to other parts of Europe on vacation to visit her family in Belgium and Sicily all the time. Just a few months ago they got from a family trip in Mexico.
Just an unlucky time that recent financial changes have effected their decision to come. I don’t think it sound ridiculous to want the people that you care for the most to share the most important day of your life.
Anyway, I know that she is hurting as much as I am and I’m just happy to know that she will be there in spirit and hopefully she will be able to come visit us in Turkey another time.