Post # 1
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
so there’s a girl who declared herself my maid of honor, and I haven’t said anything yet because I was still trying to decide who I wanted. I want my sister, and it will be my sister. Any advice on how to tell this girl she isn’t it? I don’t want to be mean or hurt her feelings but I need it to be abundsntly clear.
Post # 2
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
slinktobee: Is this girl going to be in your bridal party as a bridesmaid? What was the conversation like when she said she was your MOH?
Post # 3
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
weatherbug: Well when we decided we were going to get married, this girl said oh yeah now I can be your maid of honor and has pushed it ever since. Even before we got engaged, she was determined to be my maid of honor. I’ve just been so free to tell her no because I don’t want to hurt her feelings . I wanted her to be a bridesmaid, but I don’t know if that will work after I tell her she’s not my maid of honor
Post # 4
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
Oh my goodness that’s awkward. I’d be interested to know more details like how close you are and the context in which she said this. If she’s going to be a bridesmaid, it seems fairly easy to remind her you’re close with your sister and she will be the Maid/Matron of Honor. If she’s not someone who you will ask to be a bridesmaid, just be polite but direct. Maybe give her an excuse to spare her feelings (like if you need to keep the bidal parties small or something)
Post # 5
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
slinktobee: You should have told her from day 1 about wanting your sister, so she will probably feel like you led her on a bit. Either way, I think you should just be straight forward and tell her that you really want your Maid/Matron of Honor to be your sister and tell her that you value your friendship and you want her as a bridesmaid, but you have always envisioned your sister being your Maid/Matron of Honor. Tell her your sister would be crushed if you didn’t choose her. As a friend she should understand- especially because you are choosing a sibling and not giving the honor to another friend.
Post # 6
Member
6929 posts
Busy Beekeeper
When she’s said in the past that she was going to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, what did you say in response? Did you just go along with it or did you say something about your sister?
Post # 7
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
MissJulianna: I wish I would have from the start. I just didn’t know I wanted my sister when she decided she wanted to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I half way got myself into this mess, and i feel so crappy about it ugh
Post # 8
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
slinktobee: I would just tell her that your sister has also been telling you she wants to be your Maid/Matron of Honor and as she is your sister, you want her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. Hopefully she won’t take it too badly.
Post # 9
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
Please do not feel this is your fault. No one with a brain ever assumes they will be Maid/Matron of Honor, and certainly not if bride has a sister.