(Closed) Maid of Honor help!

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

almostmrsconnell:  I don’t understand – why can’t your brother just be his best man? What has his Girlfriend being Maid/Matron of Honor have anything to do with the friendship between your Fiance and brother? You could always put his Girlfriend in as a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Your Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to be whoever you are closest to (well, here by us, at any rate) – be that family or your closest friend. If you want your best friend to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, you should ask her. Let your Fiance ask your brother about being his best man, what transpires is between them, they should be able to sort that out.  

Post # 3
Member
2870 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

No, you should not. You get to pick your Maid/Matron of Honor, not these random family members. Clearly this brother isn’t mature, and definitely shouldn’t be getting married himself. 

Stand your ground and pick your friend. 

Post # 4
Member
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Carmen\'s Lakeview

Is your brother paying for your wedding? If not, he gets no say. I’d personally choose your friend from college (you said it yourself that you’ve ALWAYS wanted her to be your MOH). Plus in terms of the speeches, she’d probably have more stories to share at your wedding that will make it more meaningful. 

As far as your brother’s girlfriend, you can always make her a bridesmaid or something, or give her another job for the wedding (so she still feels included). You said it yourself that you didn’t want her to be Maid/Matron of Honor. Plus, they aren’t married yet! What would happen if things go suddenly wrong with your brother and they split up? How awkward would that be?

Just remember, it’s YOUR wedding. 

Post # 5
Member
8953 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

almostmrsconnell:  No. If your brother is childish and spiteful enough to refuse a genuine sincere honor from your fiance (asking him to be best man) because you aren’t willing to fake an insincere honor towards his girlfriend (of less than a year!), well that’s his choice. You should ask your best friend to be Maid/Matron of Honor and have the Girlfriend as a bridesmaid if you’d like her in the wedding party. How ridiculous of him!

Post # 6
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee

I’m confused…

so your brother is telling you to pick his girlfriend as your maid of honor (who you are not close with nor does it sound like you even like her) and on top of that, he will spitefully drop out as best man if his girlfriend is not maid of honor? Areyour fiancé and brother even close? Or did he just elect himself as best man? this is bizarre. No. Just no.. this is not how it works. You pick who you want.. Your fiancé picks who he wants. Case closed. 

Post # 7
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

pick your friend. if your brother is immature and rude enough to drop out, then it isnt your fault, and it reflects poorly on him.  no one gets to try and coerce you into picking their choice for your bridal party. 

Post # 11
Member
2626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

I wasn’t even a bridesmaid at my brother’s wedding and I WORK with his wife! Ha! It’s fine, what does it matter?

Tell your brother that it’s your Wedding and that you’ve already asked your best friend. Or, do what I’m doing and don’t have a Maid of Honour! I’m having 3 Adult Bridesmaids and my 2 neices as mini Bridesmaids. My main bridesmaids are my sister and my 2 best friends. I’m not choosing between friends and my sister has just had a baby and wants another before the Wedding so I’m not going to give her too much responsibility.

At the end of the day, your brother should WANT to stand with your fiancé. His Girlfriend needs to get over herself! I disagree with making her any kind of bridesmaid, but you could create some kind of role for her? Or, alternatively, have the groomsmen come in separately to the maids. My brother and his best man did that and then the only bridesmaid walked in just ahead of the bride but on her own.

Hope this helps a little? xx

 

Post # 14
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

almostmrsconnell:  If that’s the case, it’s probably just that she’s a little uncomfortable walking with a stranger when her SO is also in the wedding. Silly, but understandable. Maybe compromise and avoid further drama by having her as a bridesmaid and let her walk with the best man. Your guests won’t think twice about who walks with whom, and then you get the Maid/Matron of Honor you want and a happy brother!

Post # 15
Member
8953 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

almostmrsconnell:  “I don’t even think it’s my brother. I think it’s his Gf who is calling the shots.” — Well if he’s letting her, then he’s still making the decision to do what she wants. She can’t MAKE him refuse to be best man. She can tell him to, she can even let him know that she’ll make his life miserable if he doesn’t, but the choice is still his. He could choose to tell her she’s not being reasonable. Hopefully that’s what he’ll do.

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