- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2017
Hey everyone! My first post after lurking so long. I need to vent/need some advice..
I got engaged in April, and since then it’s been a whirlwind of planning. Everyone has been super excited and into the planning. Everyone except my sister..
My family can be a bit crazy. Dysfunctional but lovable is what I call them. One of the things I love about my fi is that he deals and accepts my extended family’s craziness, instead of running screaming into the hills. This time, the drama is my sister stealing a bunch of money from my parents. She stole a credit card out of my mother’s wallet (she used to live at home every once and awhile) and ran up a bill of almost $4k without my parents knowing. They didn’t find out till they went to refinance their home to help me pay for the wedding (which was insanely gracious) and my mother’s credit had been trashed. They then traced the fraudulent charges to my sister.
I was shocked when I heard this. I immediately didn’t want her to be in the wedding after doing something so hurtful and illegal. Stealing from a family member boggles my mind – and she had had the card for over three years before getting caught. (She also has a history of stealing money – my dad caught her taking money out of his wallet, she’s routed money directly out of his account once to pay off a creditors since she’s run up so many credit card bills, etc).
My mom was hurt, but made it even WORSE and told my whole extended family about her not being in the wedding – but not the reason why. It made me look petty that I wouldn’t have my own sister as Maid/Matron of Honor, much less in the Wedding Party at ALL. I got really upset at my engagement party because everyone was saying I should just “get over” whatever caused our rift. Now the wedding is all about my sister and her issues and not about my fiance and I.
My mom actually asked me to invite my sister into the wedding to make her feel better (see how crazy my family can be?) I called her and told her that she could be a bridesmaid but she had to pay for everything herself, and that if I found out she funded herself through fraudulent means she was out. She said alright, but isn’t Maid/Matron of Honor since she’s said she doesn’t feel like planning parties, spending more money than she needs to, planning anything from a distance (she has recently moved out of state), she thinks the wedding is silly, etc.
So now I have no maid of honor. I’m okay with this I think but I don’t know. It makes me sad. I could make one of the other BMs the Maid/Matron of Honor but I don’t want them to feel as if I chose one of them over the others. They are equally my best friends. Picking my sister was easy as Maid/Matron of Honor because she’s my sister. But she doesn’t even act like a distant relative, much less a sister.
So frustrated 🙁