Post # 1
I have had no help from my maid of honor. One of my other bridesmaids has been my confidante through this entire planning process. I am getting married far from my new home (1600+ miles) and she has let me have all of my wedding items shipped to her house for storage. I have run every thought and idea through her. She has helped me more than I can put into words!
My “maid of honor” at first, seemed all about everything. My bridesmaids contacted her and she basically made it seem like she wanted no help from them and they got the impression she felt she was a “professional bridesmaid”. To top it off, when I actually DO ask her questions, she rarely even responds and when she does, she does so in a manner that makes her seem uninterested in every aspect. This chick is my best friend. What the heck. Sorry I live 1600 miles away and things aren’t “the same” but sheesh!
Now, to go a little further, I say “bridesmaids” above in this paragraph because I started off with give. Now I have three. One is my 12 year old niece, the “Maid of Honor”, and then the one that has helped me immensely are all that remains because of various reasons I’ve already gotten over (well, kinda ).
Anyways.. the Bridesmaid or Best Man that IS helping me contacted the Maid/Matron of Honor to see about the plans for the week of since I am only going to be in town beginning three days before the wedding. She wanted to see about a bachelorette, wedding shower, etc. My Maid/Matron of Honor basically stated she had plans and that everything is all set. She didn’t give her much detail other than that. My Bridesmaid or Best Man that is helping me, just told me that my Maid of Honor is going to an American Idol concert the Thurs before the wedding… which is the day she told me we were all going to go out for a “bachelorette” because we don’t want to do it the night before or anything.
Argh! Not only is she not doing a darn thing to help me.. she apparenty forgot about our plans. Everything is time sensitive because of the amount of time I will actually be in town.
I can’t help be jealous of one of my ex-bridesmaids. She just got married and her Bridesmaids did so much for her on top of her parents paying for nearly everything. The reason she couldn’t be in my wedding anymore was because she was now getting married this year (after she already agreed to be in mine) and couldn’t afford it- then she barely paid for anything. This is a whole other saga!
Since when did it become okay for a bridesmaid to be completely non-communicative and seem immensely uninterested when they do? I feel like I’ve had nothing but bridesmaid drama. The non-MOH, the one who couldn’t be in it because of her wedding this year, another one who became engaged and then decided to get married the same day as me, lying about the reason why she chose that date… Aghhhhh.
Post # 3
Hey at least you have one Bridesmaid or Best Man who is there for you! I had 2 BMs and one Maid/Matron of Honor and they did NOTHING to help me. By the time the wedding rolled around I was so PO’ed that I really didn’t care if they showed up or not!
Post # 4
My Maid/Matron of Honor says I have to prove I really want her there or she won’t even show up! I feel for ya!
Post # 5
Good luck everyone. I wish I could help both of you out.
Post # 6
I’m sorry ladies 🙁 I guess it’s not as uncommon as I thought. I just assumed the Maid/Matron of Honor was usually very involved and helped with lots of things!
Best luck to you all.. and my self. Boo!
Oh.. and I guess I meant that I had “five” BMs in the original post.
Post # 7
Most of my bridesmaids were from out of town so they offered to help but that was hard to handle. I knew they meant well.
My Maid/Matron of Honor (sister) was better in the beginning with helping plan BUT once it came to the showers and the day of- she lost interest more and more. She was late to nearly everything the day of and just didn’t seem to care. It hurt my feelings but I never said anything. I think she’s young and never seems to understand how her actions affect others.
I never counted on getting any help so any help was great. In the end, it didn’t matter.
Post # 8
I guess I counted on getting more help than I got (from her) because I am trying to plan this thing from 1600 miles away. At least an answer to my request for an opinion would be nice.
That’ll teach me to assume anything. My other Bridesmaid or Best Man has been heaven-sent and I couldn’t be more happy that I’ve had her.
I keep thinking that maybe Karma is biting me. When my Maid/Matron of Honor got married I was her Maid/Matron of Honor, we were 18 years old. I was in college 2 hours away, and I admit, I did barely anything. I wasn’t very involved. But in my defense (I guess), I was so young. I had no idea what you do for weddings. She never asked me for help or suggestions. Maybe she is getting me back for what I did 8.5 years ago. 🙁
Post # 9
@chicy724: Officially, all your Maid/Matron of Honor is required to do is show up for the rehearsal and the wedding. Anything else (showers, bachelorette parties, helping with crafts, etc) is optional.
If she’s your best friend, it would be nice if she was more helpful, but did you explain that to her up front? She might have agreed to be your Maid/Matron of Honor thinking she just needed to be there for you the day before and the day of. Remember that she has her own life and while your wedding is important and exciting, she probably has a lot of other stuff on her plate!
Post # 10
@lilybay- She initially talked about showers, bachelorettes, etc. I certainly understand that she has her own life. That’s why I just send her an email asking for her opinion on something instead of asking her to do something.. and the emails go unanswered.
Post # 11
Ha…My Maid/Matron of Honor yesterday told me that she had other things more important than my wedding going on in her life yesterday (which is understandable), but then told me she wouldn’t know until today if she could even make it to the rehersal and wedding. My wedding is 11 days away, WHAT!!! talk about panic! She’s caused nothing but problems this whole wedding planning process, hasn’t been involved at all , No showed my bachelorette party last weekend, didn’t make it to my bridal shower. I ended up making the decision to demote her down to bridesmaid and now am having my childhood best friend step up. As bridezilla as that might sound, i just couldn’t deal with a let down and all she’s done is stress me out beyond belief. You find out a lot about your “TRUE” friends, when you are planning the wedding of your dreams : /
Post # 12
bridget_124: “You find out a lot about your “TRUE” friends, when you are planning the wedding of your dreams : /”
You are DARN right you do! I had asked one of my college friends to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in November for my September wedding, and she was all excited and “thought I’d never ask!” because I waited a while to ask her. Then, she became engaged on Valentine’s day this year, and told me a month or two later that she and her beau are getting married the SAME DAY as me because “it was all the venue he really wants had open.” Then I saw a post on her Facebook page that said “The date may change, it depends on what is available.” So… she HAD a choice. She lied to me about it. I would have preferred the truth. Perhaps that day holds special meaning to them.. so I would understand. But no, she LIED.
Another Bridesmaid or Best Man also became engaged on V-day this year and decided they absolutely had to get married this year. Because of that, she couldn’t afford to be in my wedding anymore. At the time she lived in NC, my wedding is in New Husband. So I understood though I was a little upset that she agreed to be in my wedding and changed her mind. To put the icing on the cake, her parents paid for almost all of her wedding and she now lives in New Husband again.. so she could easily be in the wedding. This happened shortly after my other Bridesmaid or Best Man pulled her fast one on me.. so it was even worse. My bridal party has been nothing but a mess. What was once a healthy 5-person bridal party is now a mini 3-person bridal party (on both sides)
Post # 13
she sounds like ll mine as one person.. my moh actually did NOTHING, she didn’t even pretend to do anything.. sorry things are this way.. it’s a really crappy time for people to show their true colors..