(Closed) Maid of Honor Issues

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@rockyb:  I need more information… what’s this fight about?

You say you and your family just can’t “get over it”… why is that?  If you hold onto anger and resentment, you are in fact perpetuating the tension.  (Again, I don’t know the circumstances behind the issue so I can’t say whether or not you’re out of line for refusing to forgive and move on).

One way or the other… you’re concerned this argument will “take over” your wedding.  Well, you have some power there and you need to harness that power.  By turning the other cheek to what’s happened, by making the choice to forget (even if it’s just for the time being), you can keep this fight from infiltrating your wedding.  You have to acknowledge your power here… you can either contribute to the drama or refuse to participate in the bullshit.

Given what’s going on, do you think she would want to be maid of honor?  That could also be a big factor in whether or not you should ask…

Good luck to you!

 

Post # 4
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Just talk to her – youll probably get the most accurate answer from the way she reacts

Post # 5
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Without knowing more about the situation, it’s kind of impossible to say whether it will persist. But it looks like your wedding isn’t too far away, so if you’re not comfortable with the relationship as it is right now, it’s probably best to choose someone else.. Wedding planning isn’t often conducive to repairing strained relationships – too much stress.

Post # 6
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

There a couple of reasons… maybe she’s having some other issues going on, that you might not even know about, and she’s having trouble dealing with them – which is coming out in other ways.

Post # 8
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@rockyb:  Still, without knowing what you mean by his being disrespectful, and his poor attitude, it’s still hard to say. 

If your sister is serious about this guy, I can’t say I blame her for saying “accept him, or you won’t have a good relationship with me.”  That’s typically the advice we give people when their future ILs aren’t accepting of their new family member.  Then again, he could be a major dick.  I think, either way, if you love your sister, you accept him, good or bad.  That doesn’t mean you have to like him.  But if you can manage a surface relationship with this guy for the sake of your relationship with your sister, I say do it.  (This is assuming he’s not a drug addict, or kleptomaniac, or into any other kind of illegal activity.  Or if he’s blatantly mean to you guys then… I don’t know, that’s quite the predicament).

Me and my now Brother-In-Law got off to a rocky start.  I mean a BIG fight, screaming, cursing, it got physical between me and my sister and my husband and him.  It was ugly.  BUT – we moved on and we’re all on great terms now.  It’s conceivable you guys can mend fences.

Best of luck!

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