(Closed) Maid of honor/ Matron of honor ???/

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think you should do that. I think they will have a power struggle fighting over who gets to do what. It’s a title of honor for only ONE person in your party. That one person is incharge of keeping the maids organzed, the bridal shower, a toast, etc.

Post # 4
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Your best friend will still be by your side, whether she is Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor. Only one of them can be right next to you at the alter, regardless of title 🙂 Do you want your best friend to help plan the parties and help your aunt with the Maid/Matron of Honor duties? I’m sure she would do that whether she was Bridesmaid or Best Man or co-MOH. It’s up to you, to me it sounds like it would be adding unnecessary drama and stress, with the potential to hurt your aunt’s feelings (maybe – you would be able to predict that better than me). Plus, you say you and your best friend weren’t on the best of terms, which just doesn’t sound like the most stable friendship in the world. That plus the fact you still have a year to go means I would probably hold off on making this decision for now. But then I didn’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor (just 3 BMs) and don’t think much of titles!

Post # 5
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I went to a wedding were there was a maid of honor and a matron of honor.  I’m not sure how it was “behind the scenes” but looking back, being a Maid/Matron of Honor can be a difficult task and so if they are both people who could help each other out, then it might be a good idea.

But if you think one might not be easy to work with, I would go with having only one Maid/Matron of Honor and the other one a bridesmaid.

Post # 5
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

oops repeat post.

Post # 5
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

oops repeat post

Post # 6
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think you should do whatever you want to do, it is your wedding day.  My best friend is going to be my Matron of Honor and my 15 year old sister is going to be a Maid of Honor (mostly because the title makes her feel special).  My Boyfriend or Best Friend will be doing all the Maid/Matron of Honor duites, and my sister will just help me out like she would regardless of her title.  I think the important thing is that you make it clear what is expected of each of them, that way there is no “fighting” over who does what.

Post # 7
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with BunnyBunz – there’s no reason you can’t have both and have them share the duties – they might actually enjoy working together in this. I am have co-MOHs, because I simply can’t choose between my 2 best friends. Also, one of them lives in a different state, so the one more local to me will be able to help out in a more practical sense.

Post # 8
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have both a maid and a matron (she just became a matron this past weekend!) and it’s been great… they live in different states (and different states from me too) so they’ve been able to balance all the duties. So far I think it’s been okay and no issues behind the scenes. I was also able to do this because my Fiance has 2 best men (his 2 brothers, he couldn’t choose) so it was balanced… at the end of the day you have to do what makes you happy!

Post # 9
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have 2 Matrons of Honor and one Maid of Honor, so I say go for it. They’re two different things, so I don’t get the power struggle or anything. To me, it just makes sense.

Post # 11
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@TheFutureMcBride: How many bridesmaids do you have?

Post # 12
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you should ask your friend too.  It’s becoming more popular to have two maid of honors!  Plus, I highly doubt your aunt would care if you asked your best friend.  You might regret not asking your friend in the future.

Post # 13
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

just to clarify- the only difference between a maid and matron is that a matron is married, right?

Post # 14
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

Correct, a matron of honor is married. I am only having two attendants and one is designated Maid of Honor and one is my Matron of Honor. I just wish we could come up with a better name for the groomsman. LOL

Go for it!!! Sounds like you and your friend are heading in a good direction if  you want to give her a special title.

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