- 4 years ago
I have finally decided to post this because I would like unbiased advice. Me fiance and I have a group of friends that we know but arent super close with (when we hang out we act like we are beat buds but we dont get together often). A couple years ago, I introduced my maid of honor to the girls in our group and she became very close with them. So close that they all started hanging out on a weekly-almost daily basis and slowly stopped invitinviting me and my fiance. We expressed our feelings a few times but it goes in one ear and out the other (plus we bought a house and planned a wedding this year so its not their fault that we declined the few offers to hangout that we did get because we were saving money). Anyway…fast forward to a year plus later and we get to the night before my bridal shower. I had two out of town bridesmaids that I wanted to meet my Maid/Matron of Honor and just go out for a casual glass of wine or something. My Maid/Matron of Honor had made plans the week before to go out with me that night anyway. So as I am getting ready ALL my Maid/Matron of Honor cares about is making sure she meets up with one of the girls from our group of mutual “friends” lets call her…Liz. So my Maid/Matron of Honor is texting me saying “just go oit without me it’s fine I have so much to do for tomorrow anyway” and I say “yes but the point of tonight was for all my bridesmaids to meet and get to know each other even if for a half hour”. She then proceeds to say “well I need to meet up with liz I told her we would hang out”. After multiple texts back and forth and me getting increasingly more upset that she obviously only cares about liz-not about meeting my friends from college or being there for me, I go to the bar with my girls and my mom. As we are hanging out- my Maid/Matron of Honor walks in with liz and the rest of their girlfriends….meanwhile liz has an attitude because it was inconvenient that they “had to stop by to hangout with the bridesmaids) like seriously WTF you shouldnt even be here and ive had plans with my Maid/Matron of Honor for a week! So after a month or so I finally get sick of holding my feelings in and I tell my Maid/Matron of Honor that I was upset. She thinks I’m ridiculous and “doesn’t see why we all couldn’t hang out” and I just dont think that was her decision to make. It was obviously important to me that we all meet up as bridesmaids even for a little bit. Was that so much to ask? So then she acts like I’m some crazy bridezilla and I shut up becbecause I love her and don’t want to destroy our friendship. Now I am weeks away from my wedding and i tell her that I made my seating chart and that shes sitting with the girls and a couple other people (and not her friends whos asses she is shoved up all the time and has been mainly concerned about-mind you its a destination wedding and shes renting a house with all of them so they will be traveling and staying together the whole friggen time anyway) she literally texts me back saying “well I wont be sitting there so it doesnt matter”. Like. WTF? Do you even care about me? Is this your wedding? How rude is that to tell someone “oh no I dont want to sit there” WHO PICKS THEIR SEAT AT A WEDDING? Im wanting to hear from an outside point of view, am I going crazy? Overreacting? She literally cant understand that I just need her to be there for ME on my wedding day? I cant tell her my feelings because she literally just blows it off like I’m being crazy. Im sad that I think our friendship will be non existent after this wedding. Thoughts?