(Closed) Maid of Honor says she doesn’t care about the wedding

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

Wow. Be STRONG and ask her to step down as the Maid/Matron of Honor. She said exactly what is needed for this to be appropriate. See if she’ll just be a Bridesmaid or Best Man instead.

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@stellablue5997: I agree!

Post # 33
Member
4766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry but you should def make her step down and possibly even stop being your friend.

It has nothing to do with what happened to you, your friend had no right to make you step down, she was in the wrong.

But friends are supposed to care about the things going in your life especially when they are so huge like a wedding!  how would this girl react if you were talking about somthing really unimportant like what you had for lunch.  Everyone will talk about somehting that Id rather just tell them i really don’t care, but I never do, becasue it would hurt my friend.  Friends are supposed to care and even if you really don’t care you pretend to care, that’s part of being a friend too, this girl is definitely not that.

Post # 34
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@lambobble: You have to demote this woman! I’m not sure if she even deserves to be a bridesmaid. There are often so many melodramatic posts on here about bridesmaids and I thought this was another one where I just don’t understand the drama- but this woman sounds awful!

I realise you were ‘demoted’ from Maid/Matron of Honor before and that was upsetting- but that sounds like a seriously different situation where logistically the bride wanted someone who lives closer, and you actually had done nothing wrong. Your Maid/Matron of Honor is sucking all the excitment out of your wedding. My BMs and Maid/Matron of Honor are always dying to hear the latest on the wedding- and I’d hate it to be any other way. Seriously- get rid!!!

Post # 35
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Hmmm….sounds like you might be needing a backup Maid/Matron of Honor.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she backed out at the very last minute.  Just be prepared for anything.  I’m really sorry she’s acting that way.  Weddings can make some people so envious…..

Post # 37
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My assessment: Her boyfriend hates weddings…she doesn’t and she’s jealous you are getting married. So, she tries to make you feel bad because she feels bad.

I would ask her if she wants to be Maid of Honor.  Tell her that she had said a lot of things lately that seem to indicate that she doesn’t want to be a part of your wedding day.  Put it on her to step down.

Post # 38
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

What if you promoted another bridesmaid to Maid/Matron of Honor and had 2. I have seen a couple different bees post before about having more than one Maid/Matron of Honor. If you are really concerned about her feelings maybe you could leave her in that important role but promote someone else too who will be there for you more than she will…..

Post # 39
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

OMG!  We have the same best friend! Haha.  My friend basically hangs up if I even say FI’s name on the phone!  It’s always, “I gotta go!”  if I talk about my wedding.

Post # 40
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@lambobble:  Did you say she’s going to be your photographer? Maybe point out that you recognize being the photographer and making the bouquets is a huge amount of work, and maybe you’ve asked too much of her, and you wouldn’t mind at all if she’s not interested in being Maid/Matron of Honor on top of that.

 

Post # 41
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I honestly believe she is acting this way because your happiness is making her feel bad about her own life. Weddings bring out a lot of jealousy and end a lot of friendships, I’ve seen it happen. Sometimes people can’t cope when they think someone has better luck or a better life than they have. She has passive-aggressiy tried to get you to stop talking about it, probably to preserve in her mind any positive feelings she has left for your friendship, but since you feel entitled to discuss it with her you have pushed the subject and therefore she has pushed you away.

I’m not meaning to criticize you or say you’re the problem. She’s not being a true friend. I’m just saying that hearing about other people’s good fortune makes many people more selfish.

 

Post # 42
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

How rude.

NEXT.

Post # 43
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

could be that she’s jealous that you are getting married and she’s not?  i have a friend who broke up with her long term boyfriend and after 6 months of wedding planning and all, is when she asked me how everything was.  i told her fine, you know, i know that she’s been through a lot, but she put herself first during my “good times”. so i left her be, and now i know what i have for a friend! 🙁

Post # 45
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Have you talked to her?  I am curious to know how this works out.

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