(Closed) Maid of Honor trouble – Help!

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It sounds like she’s just a bad friend, let alone a bad Maid/Matron of Honor. She sounds very inconsiderate and selfish, and very aloof. I think you’ve been pretty patient and trying to talk to her about things first was the right move, but it doesn’t seem like she gets it. Maybe try spelling it out for her one more time- let her know that you NEED a maid of honor who is going to be able to help you plan and put things together, and if she can’t, you’re going to have to find someone who can do that. 

Post # 4
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think shyviolette‘s comment is spot on. If I were in your situation I don’t know if I would have the patience to deal with her for as long as you have. There is no reason for her to be that selfish and disrespectful to you or your other friends. It’s also kind of odd that she would just drive by your house all day. Stalkerish behavior like that would certainly be grounds for ening a friendship for me.

If you think she is somebody that is worth having as your Maid/Matron of Honor and a friend you could give her one more shot to prove herself. I’m sorry I can’t think of any other ways to get her to be on the same page as you. At least it sounds like you have another friend that is willing to step up and help out when you need it.

Post # 5
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

um wow.. i really dont know what to say.. except i have an old friend who im not really friends with who sounds just like her.. i feel that we had grown apart and wanted to do different things, unfortunatly for one of our other friends she had her as her MOH! she turned up to her house for a dinner (in which her boss was there and other important ppl) and announced to everone as she walked in that quickies in the park over here were not all that great as she has been pulling pine needles out of her arse the entire walk over here.. she did lots of other things like that during the whole planning process.. even turning up completly drunk to the dress fitting.. hope it doesnt turn out that bad for you.. just letting you know that your not the only one! but she did do a great job on the day. so she did redeem herself.. but i dont think their friendship will ever be as strong..

Post # 6
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree that she doesn’t sound like a good friend or Maid/Matron of Honor, but can I ask what her behvaior was like before this?  I can’t see how she’d go from proper and reserved to running around in a string bikini unless that were already her M.O.  From her side, it sounds not right that you’re so embarrassed by your friend, and that your other friends would keep bringing up how weird she is, without you defending her.  Maybe she really did flip a switch and become crazy, but it sounds to me like she was always a bit wild (which you maybe used to enjoy), and that your group of friends now are a bit more reserved and are being judgmental, and you’re siding with them over her.

Regardless of how you got to this place, it sounds like you don’t want her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, especially if you have different ideas about what that entails (work-wise) and if you’re so embarrassed by her.  I’d have a serious talk, apologize for being rash in the beginning, and say you’ve decided to go in a different directions with your bridal party and you’d prefer if she just came as a guest.  The whole situation is strange to me though.

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