(Closed) Maid of Honor Trouble PLEASE HELP!!!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I kick her out of the wedding?
    Yes : (13 votes)
    57 %
    No : (10 votes)
    43 %
  • Post # 3
    901 posts
    Busy bee

    Is there a possibility she’s having some personal problems? If she’s fighting with her husband and all, you never know what might be going on.

    I wouldn’t end a friendship over this, but I’d probably express to her what you expect out of her as your Maid/Matron of Honor and ask if she’d prefer you choose someone else.

    Post # 4
    1736 posts
    Bumble bee

    It sounds like she probably isn’t best suited for the roll of Maid/Matron of Honor. Do you have someone else in your bridal party that could step up to the plate? I think the best course of action might be to let her know that she has a lot on her plate and you understand how busy she is, so to take some stress off of her, you’d like for her to be a bridesmaid and not have to deal with the extra workload. If you make it all about her (rather than faulting her for not helping you out) – it may help you salvage your relationship with her. Sounds like she probably has some stuff going on that isn’t allowing her to truly concentrate on what you think is important right now (which is wedding planning!). Just don’t forget that sometimes what seems incredibly important to a bride…isn’t very important to others…

    Chin up!! Things will all work out in the end!

    Post # 5
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    You should talk to her, not kick her out of the wedding. 

    Post # 7
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Honestly, not trying to be judgemental or snarky BUT based on the way you told your story it sounds like your friend has issues, and not in the worst way because we all have issues.  But it seems like she’s not at the happiest place in her life right now and she just can’t seem to find a way to be there and be happy for you and may be avoiding your situation all together because of that.  If you value her friendship and its important to you DO NOT kick her out of the wedding and do not strip her of Maid/Matron of Honor status.  Try to maintain the friendship as best you can given the circumstances and if you have other friends, family members or bridal party members that you can include in your wedding planning do so.  If this friendship is NOT worth anything to you I still would not suggest you kick her out but after your wedding just let nature take its course with the friendship and im sure things will fade naturally.  Don’t take anything personally regarding her treatment of you, your engagement and wedding planning should be a happy time so stay positive surround yourself with people that love and support you and take your focus of this 10 yr. friend/MOH situation.  Good luck with everything, your getting married girl! Focus on that.

    Post # 9
    1638 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @Ca805Le:  She has always been jealous of you, used you for her own wedding and then shut you out of the festivites, married a guy almost a year before your own wedding in almost ‘shot-gun’ fashion…

    I had a friend simila to this. I quietly stepped out of her life. I stopped calling her and I was cordial to her but I did not bend over backwards anymore for her. I cooled our friendship.

    Maybe it’s time for you todo the same. What she did sounds purposeful and mean. You don’t have to “kick her out” but I would just stop communicating with her for a while, focus on your wedding and your true friends, and then when the times comes say something alongs the lines of “I really want you to attend the wedding as a dear guest”.

    Post # 10
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I agree that your Maid/Matron of Honor sounds like she is having personal issues. I wouldn’t put any pressure on her, but I would show that you are concerned about her. I wouldn’t mention the wedding. I would more of talk about how you haven’t heard or seen her in awhile and that you feel like she’s been shutting you out. Sometimes you just need that friendly person asking what’s up. 

    Post # 11
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would try talking to her first, and then making a course of action from there. She might have a lot on her plate, but that is no excuse. I agree that the Maid/Matron of Honor should be your right hand lady and should be excited to participate and help. If she is not interested, or not able maybe let her down easy and move on. Either way, dont let it bring you down! Good luck.

    Post # 12
    4419 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Just out of curiosity…  She got married so quickly after becoming engaged, she cut you out of all the festivities, she’s been fighting with her husband… Is she pregnant and didn’t tell you? 

    Post # 13
    1785 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I don’t think I would trust her as Maid/Matron of Honor. That is a huge role in your wedding that needs to be given to a woman who is responsible and cares about what YOU want for YOUR wedding day. I vote to cut her loose.

    Post # 16
    20 posts
    • Wedding: April 2013

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