(Closed) Maid of Honor uncomfortable with short dresses….

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If its not unreasonably short I say tell her to live with It.  I would ht the gym before complaining and I too am “heavy”

Post # 4
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If she’s your maid of honor, she must be a good enough friend for you want her to be comfortable in her role on your wedding day. Would changing one dress really tear apart your look? It doesn’t have to be formal, I’ve seen some fairly casual long dresses. I guess it depends on how strongly she feels about it. 

Post # 5
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think it depends on what “short” is. If you exspect your girls to be comfortable in mini skirts, then she has a reason to not be cool with that. But I assume that isn’t the case and they are closer to knee length, in which case, she needs to understand that when one agrees to be in someone else’s wedding, sometimes one doesn’t get one’s favorite outfit. Could you find something in a tea length so it is kind of a compromise? But honestly,it IS your wedding and you get to pick.

Post # 6
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Would either of you oppose to a dress that hits below the knee? It would provide the Maid/Matron of Honor with more coverage, but won’t be too floor sweepingly long for your wedding look.

Post # 7
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Do you have a pick of the dresses for reference?

 

Post # 8
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It may depend on whether she is taller or has some booty? the dress may fall a bit shorter on her on her in the back. If she is the MoH, she can be in a different dress and it won’t look too weird. I’d definitely give her a chance to try on a dress if possible before deciding.

Post # 10
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Those dresses are gorgeous! Is there anyway she could order it with extra length or something so it is below her knees? 

Post # 11
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Thanks for the pics!

They look pretty standard and certainly not too short! However, I know how hard us women can be on our selves about our insecurities! I agree with Chasesgirl about maybe her being able to have extra fabric added as part of an alteration!

Post # 12
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would see if she’d be comfortable in a tea lenght dress.  If not, I think you should let her wear a long dress.  Bridesmaid or Best Man comfort trumps wedding vision.  However, since this is your Maid/Matron of Honor, you could let her wear a long dress and the rest of your BMs could wear the short dresses you picked (which are beautiful btw).  This way she can be comfortable and you’d be able to distinguish her as your Maid/Matron of Honor.

 

Post # 13
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

J Crew dresses all come in a tall size, although she might need to get the top altered more heavily then. One potential problem is sizing, though. As far as I know, they only go up to a 16. (I don’t know if that’s a concern based on her own concerns).

Have you sent her links to these dresses to get her feedback?

ETA: Ack. They no longer come in tall. I looked at JCrew for my girls and I could have sworn they did…

Post # 14
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m guessing you dress will be long, so I don’t think it would be weird if your Maid/Matron of Honor had a long chiffon dress and the rest of your bridesmaids were in short dresses. I think chiffon is summery enough. A long satin gown would definitely be too formal.

If you think it is self-conscious issues, I would let her get a long dress. Sure, you are the bride so the look you are going for is important, but I don’t think it supersedes your bridesmaid’s comfort. If you think she is just being difficult, or wants to stand out, that’s a different story.

One friend of mine was in a wedding and she is very modest. The bride gave the bridesmaids choices (actually similar to your dress, which I love and think are very pretty) but my friend was uncomfortable with bare shoulders and knee-length dresses. She was uncomfortable the entire time, but felt too guilty to say anything.  

Post # 15
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

http://www.jcrew.com/wedding/Wedding_Bridesmaid/silkchiffon/PRDOVR~76669/76669.jsp’ defer=’defer

 

http://www.jcrew.com/wedding/Wedding_Bridesmaid/silkchiffon/PRDOVR~93075/93075.jsp’ defer=’defer

 

Those two are available in your color (dusty shale) and are identical to the shorter versions you have listed above.  This is your best friend, let her be comfortable on your wedding day while she stands up for you.  She’s there because you guys are best friends, she’s not an accessory.

Post # 16
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Some of the J.Crew dresses are actually quite short (specificially the Arabelle dress) but others like the Heidi dress are longer. I’m using J Crew dresses for my girls as well. Has she looked at all the options or has she just stated she doesn’t want short dresses?

If it were my Maid/Matron of Honor, I would switch to long dresses if it made her comforable.  Personally, I wouldn’t be okay knowing my best friend (because thats what your Maid/Matron of Honor is!) isn’t happy or comfortable with the way she looks & feels. Even though its my day, I love my girls more than life itself and want to make them happy too. I want them to enjoy my wedding as much as I am because I truly love them. I know they would do the same for me. I don’t think changing to long dresses would ruin your look. I’m having an outdoors Florida wedding on the bay. My girls are wearing short but my good friend got married in an upscale resort in Mexico on the beach and her girls had Dessy chiffon long dresses. It looked gorgeous as well. I think if they wear chiffon it will be flowy and relaxed.

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