(Closed) Maid of Honor vs. Lady in Waiting

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I always thought it was the same thing, different title. Lady in waiting I think is more of a traditional British term. I could be wrong.

Regardless of what you call it, she can still be your Maid/Matron of Honor. Do you have local friends/BM’s that can help you with shopping/invitations/whatever? The most important “duties” are on the actual wedding. Helping you dress, fixing your train, doing your bustle, and making sure you have your essentials throughout the wedding itself.

Post # 4
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@RiverBride13:  I agree – The real Maid/Matron of Honor duties are on the wedding day. Anything else that your Maid/Matron of Honor does (throwing showers, hen’s parties, etc.), is entirely optional. If you really want to honour this person on your special day, and have them as an elevated Bridesmaid or Best Man, then I think you should, regardless of their location.

Post # 5
Member
8440 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

A lady in waiting is a female at court attending on a queen, princess or hig ranking noble woman. They are often noble women themselves.

The Queen (of England) still has them today.

But as far as what you are doing OP why would you treat a friend like that? Making them do all the work (not that there is any work for them other than the wedding day) but giving them a bogus title?

Post # 6
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@j_jaye:  I don’t think OP is trying to “demote” her with a lesser title just because she lives out of state. I think she is just confused on the terms and wondering how to include her in an important way even though she lives far away and won’t be able to attend ALL the festivities.

Post # 7
Member
8440 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@RiverBride13:  the way I read it the OP wants to appoint another friend as a personal assistant/lady in waiting and not demote the Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 9
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I’ve never heard of a “lady in waiting” at a wedding. Maybe it’s a regional thing?

If you have one friend you’re close to who is coming in just for the wedding, and another friend nearby who is going to be helping substantially with the preparations, parties, etc., I think it would be entirely reasonable to have two MOH’s. It depends on the individual dynamics of your group, and you know that best, but it seems like it’s a good way to acknowledge how important both of them are.

Post # 10
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Sarah1221:  I have never heard of a “lady in waiting” by your acquantaince’s defintion.  My Maid/Matron of Honor lives 12 hours from me and its been fine.  The only time I’ve heard the term “lady in waiting” in regards to weddings was on David Tutera’s show, where one of his staff members serves the bridal party on the morning of the wedding.

Post # 11
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’ve never heard of the Lady in Waiting term.  I have been in weddings where the Maid/Matron of Honor or other BMs are out of town.  I always thought the titles where more of an honorary thing, like it’s a way of saying how much that person means to you, not so much about what that person’s duties are.  I was Maid/Matron of Honor to my sister; at the time I was 19 and out of state for college.  I didn’t plan anything, or have many “jobs”.  I came in for the shower but the other BMs planned it, and I was underage so couldn’t even go to the bachelorette party let along plan it.  But I was there the day of, helped with the 500 buttons on the dress, etc. 

Post # 12
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Sarah1221:  The Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t have any responsibilities other than standing with you on the wedding day, so I’m not sure what this “Lady in Waiting” would be for.  This sounds like something that someone made up.

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