(Closed) Maid of honor

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
694 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

If you’re open to more modern ideas and you think they would get along, you could have both as MOHs. Or, if one is closer (to you in distance) than the other, you can discuss it with them and say you are going with Woman A over B because you don’t want to stress B out. I guess it really depends on their personalities and how they would handle being co-MOHs or just BMs, good luck!

Post # 4
2640 posts
Sugar bee

How close are you to your cousin?  Would it be weird to have her as the MOH?  Would she otherwise be a BM?  I think a solution would be to have two MOHs.  But then I think it would be a bit unbalanced to see one poor Bridesmaid or Best Man, with two MOHs.  You could consider just having them all be BMs.

I would try to weigh how much it means to you to pick one over the other.  Also, (I might be in the minority), but  I would take into account how much it would hurt them to not be Maid/Matron of Honor, especially if you really are close to them and value their friendships.  And logistically, is there a way to make one a Maid/Matron of Honor based on objective reaosning?  (Like what Natakie16 was talking about with one living closer to you than the other.) It could be location, a less stressful job, one isn’t married with kids, one has already been in three weddings and Maid/Matron of Honor in two -while the other has never been in a wedding.  I’m thinking just some reason that would come across like, "Yeah, this makes a lot of sense, and wasn’t weighted based on who grako5 is closer to."

Post # 5
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

For my first wedding which never happened I had chosen to have two Maid/Matron of Honor my cousin and my childhood friend.  Now the person I’m closest too is my mom.  She jokingly said the other day if she was going to be a bridesmaid. I had never thought of that. So I’m not naming anyone as Maid/Matron of Honor. I’m going to list my mom in the program as the Maid/Matron of Honor. Nobody but me and Fiance know about this. So she will be shocked.  Plus the other girls will think it is cool etc.

I say if you don’t want to hurt their feelings then pick both or none at all.  Just be sure to ask them both within the same time frame. I was just the Maid/Matron of Honor in a wedding and was the only Maid/Matron of Honor until the week of.  Talk about shock and hurt. It was like I didn’t do a good enough job all 1 1/2 years.

Post # 7
5 posts

Is one married? My best friend had the same issue and the other girl was married – so, she’s the matron of honor and I’m the maid of honor.

Post # 8
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

how about both; just have two maids of honor

Post # 9
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

have both of them but make sure they will equally share the duty and attend to you. I didn’t want to pick between my to besties so i made them both then only one of them did the work and the other was freeloading the title so i dropped her to a bm but there was allot of dramma things will probably go smoother for you.

Post # 10
9 posts

What’s wrong with asking them both?? I have a maid of honor, sister and a matron of honor BFF since Kindergarten. The more the easier it is for your wedding party to divvy up duties to help you on your special day!!

Post # 11
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

In my opinion, pick your one Maid/Matron of Honor based on how much you can trust her to do perform the duties you will be expecting. If you pick someone who is reliable and is more likely to come through for you, and this does not necessarily mean the one you are the closest to, you will avoid disappointment and drama.

Do NOT pick two MOH’s because you can’t decide between the two. In reality, there is only one Maid/Matron of Honor because only one can be the last to walk down the aisle before you and only one can stand next to you and be recognized by your guests as the Maid/Matron of Honor during the ceremony. I have been co-MOH before and I think it’s a load of crap, and yes the second Maid/Matron of Honor was a total b-tch and utterly useless. I have declined being a co-MOH on another occasion and opted to be one of the too many extra bridesmaids, and the new co-MOHs worked terribly together and the bride wanted to “fire” both of them on separate occasions, although, that bride was very drama-prone.

My planning is going smoothly bc my girls are trustworthy and know how to keep me calm and sane! But, it’s because I can’t stomach drama and try to avoid it. Others here probably can stomach more drama than me.

Post # 12
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

I’d vote for picking both!

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