- 5 years ago
Hello everyone. I have been browsing this website for a few months now as a friend of mine is soon to be wed. I have read some very surprising and sometimes upsetting posts, as well as many happy and joyful ones, everyone always seems to give such great advise so I’ve finally decided to make a profile and post an issue of mine.
My closest and dearest friend has asked me to be the Maid of Honor at her wedding. Normally with a request like this I would feel completely thrilled and honored, but I just don’t. I’m not happy about it at all.
My friend has always had rocky relationships with men, usually lasting a year, sometimes on and off again, but above all they have all been complete d-bags (pardon me). In January of 2012 she met her boyfriend, in April of 2012 he proposed to her and of course, being rash and drunk with love she said yes. You can see my concern.
This gentlemen is also in the Reserve Forces and had voulenteered to be deployed before his drunken house party proposal (my friend being completely aware of this the entire time). In June of 2012 he is deployed for 9 months and has recently returned to the states as of March 2013. They plan on being married at the end of July, this year.
I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Myself and all of my friends have given up on trying to talk sense into her about the marriage, being that they will have only been physically in the same space with each other for 8 months and he felt it was who of him to propose to her then ship out for 9 months, leaving her alone during her engagement. When I imagine my friends being married I see the white dress, the happy loving engagement and a committed, solid relationship. I don’t see this between them at all, say for the dress.
She told me herself that I will give “the most amazing and loving Maid of Honor speech every.” Pressure is on. I have never been to a wedding where the Maid of Honor has given a speech….nor do I like public speaking. I’d imagine that the speech should go something alone the lines of recaping their relationship over the years, how I’ve watched them change and grow with each other, the good times and bad times. I also believe the speech would involve both the bride and the groom…well…here it is: I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER FIANCE. NOTHING. NOT A DAMN THING.
I have nothing nice to say about him, nor anything factual because I have not spent time with him, or with him and her together. I dont know any aspect or dynamic of their relationship.
How am I supposed to give a speech…on THAT? Does anyone have any helpful tips on giving speeches at weddings, or has anyone ever been in a similar situation about not knowing the groom while trying to plan a toast for the wedding? HELP!