(Closed) Maid of honour – overly excited

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Maybe she is just super excited and this is how she is showing it?

It does seem a bit extreme though.

Perhaps you should explain to her that you are the bride and you want to feel special, and appreciate that she wants to be involved but trying on bridal gowns at this time is not the way that she should go about showing her support for you.

My Maid/Matron of Honor is the exact opposite- I have to practically twist her arm into getting involved with anything wedding related & she can’t even be bothered organising a bridal shower or hen’s night for me!

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a balance somewhere in the middle?! >.<

Post # 4
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I have no idea how I would react in this situation, in all honesty! It’s not like you are being a bridezilla for asking the Maid/Matron of Honor to do Maid/Matron of Honor things- You’re simply asking of her what anyone in her position should be doing…ANYTHING YOU NEED!

Maybe you could talk to her about how she would feel in your position? She may be able to relate better if it is put into perspective. That way you wouldn’t be confronting her in an accusatory way and she would be less likely to get defensive!

Hope everything gets better! 🙂

Post # 5
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

That would irriatate me. If her relationship is long-term/serious/headed toward marraige I could understand taking mental notes but trying on wedding dresses!?!!? That is crazy talk! If she wanted to do that then she should make her own appointment, not steal your thunder!


When my two friends who are also engaged come to my appointments, it’s just about me. When I go to appointments with my friends it’s just about them.

I don’t think I’d mind the shopping around for ideas, but I do think she should make it less about her

Post # 6
739 posts
Busy bee

I would tell her that you are happy she is excited but her trying on dresses and focusing on her imaginary wedding is taking away from the excitement of your wedding. Remind her that once she is really engaged you guys get to do this all over again and have the focus be on her, but right now you could really use her support. You need to be upfront and honest or it wont chance and really take away from your planning experience.

Post # 7
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My Future Sister-In-Law is the same way. She is younger than me but in a serious relationship, but there is no engagement talk. When we went dress shopping she was actually looking got dresses for herself, which really surprised me because her and her bf were on a break at that time. I invited her to a  bridal show this weekend with my sisters and she couldnt make it because she has to work. Her response was “Im sorry I cant go.  I really wanted to go to the bridal so I could look at wedding dresses”.  Argh. I just try to ignore her. She does not help with my wedding and is not involved in much. But she always seems to find a way to make everything about her and her dream wedding.

Post # 8
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Maybe you could take someone else to some appointments like your mum or another friend?

Some people can’t see past themselves sometimes, we all do it. She is probably a little bit jealous that its your day and not hers.

Maybe have a chat with her and explan how you feel, she probably doesn’t realise.

Post # 9
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with kittybee:; it’s possible your friend is feeling a bit jealous b/c she would like to be where you are now (i.e. engaged and planning her own wedding!). Maybe a gentle talk about this would help her see how she’s making you feel and get her back to being a good Maid/Matron of Honor and friend…but don’t mention the jealousy thing, that’d probably make her upset! Maybe you could offer to spend a little time with her looking at engagement rings, or set aside some time to spend with just her and chat about how things are going with her and her SO…maybe that would take care of her need to feel in that “wedding” place herself, without her taking over your wedding-related events.

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