Maid of honour problem

posted 1 year ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee

There is a lot of conflicting info in all of your posts.  

We were very very close before this. But she started pulling away around Feb. 

The conversation was a blame game, I sat stunned, hearing things I’ve never heard before.

She told me her posts are very positive and she doesn’t think I’d appreciate them because I’m such a negative person.

I don’t know if you are deliberately leaving out specific info to paint a certain picture.  But if you were so “very very close” someone doesn’t just do a 180 and treat you like a bitch overnight for no reason.  

If you didn’t leave out any info and everything is exactly 100% true as you posted, then your sister is not a nice person.  But you would have known this.  Pretty much all your life.  So then why are you so surprised she is being her selfish entitled self?  Why on earth would you turn to your sister for comfort or sympathy?  Why would you choose someone who is so difficult and mean to be your MOH?

If on the other hand, if she had a sudden personality-transplant since February and this is completely out of the norm….. WHAT happened?  There was something that happened between you two and she is still upset.  And for some reason, all your posts conveniently leave this big part out.

Post # 19
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee

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@denise6578:  So then she has been this way all your life.  Selfish. Mean. Entitled. Blames you as the bad guy.  Could care less how it makes you feel.

Were you expecting her to suddenly miraculously become a different person because it’s your wedding.  I’m sorry, but people don’t change like that because you want them to.

You say you have pressure from your family to please your sister.  You know you are an adult woman right?  About to get married and have your own family.  You are no longer the little girl who was dependent on her parents for survival and had to conform to their rules.  It’s time to start having boundaries and stop chasing people who don’t care about you. (If your sister truly cared about your feelings she would try to communicate instead of being a bitch in her responses/actions).  You’re not a little girl anymore.  Stop letting your family have so much power over you and prevent you from having boundaries around your sister, esp when she’s mean.

Look I totally get it.  Planning a wedding is incredibly stressful and agonizing at times.  You NEED someone who will provide love, comfort, and support during the times you feel you’re going crazy. It wasn’t wrong to seek comfort and sympathy. But it was wrong to expect it from someone whose been selfish and mean your entire life.

Post # 20
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee

P.S.  You need a new Maid/Matron of Honor.  Someone who genuinely loves, cares about you, and will be there to support you.  

Post # 21
Member
2036 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
@denise6578:  

I would love to know OP, how close pp’s description of your actual sister relationship is to reality.  How right did she get it?

I’ll agree with pp on this point.  Its time to stop caving to other’s expectations and be your own woman who is responsible and capable of making her own decisions without needing to explain or apologize.

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