(Closed) Maid of Honor help

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

kind of tough – if you know her well enough, do you know how she may react to you telling her not to be MoH anymore? Would you have her just as a bridesmaid? It may be a relief for her as well!

Post # 4
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I think if you are good friends, you may be able to get away with asking her if she’d perfer to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man or a guest. Maid/Matron of Honor is too much of a privilege to give it to someone you really aren’t close with. 

And you should make your aunt a Bridesmaid or Best Man too! It would be super sweet! 

Post # 5
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I don’t know why you keep insisting that your friend is “making excuses” because she “can’t” afford the 70 dollar dress. Your friend is flat out telling you she cannot pay for the dress. I’ve yet to meet someone above the age of 22 who is gainfully employed and not a hippie/hipster who shops at thrift stores and Goodwill exclusively just for the fun of it. So you have a couple of options: pay for the dress yourself and let her figure out alterations on her own, choose a dress in her budget, give her a fabric and color scheme and let her choose a dressing her budget, or ask her to step down in a dickish move and probably do irreparable harm to the friendship. Your move shecha. 

Post # 7
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I think it seems like a shame to have a bridal party of one person, whom you’re not even close to. If I were you I would probably try to gently (in as friendly and nice a way as possible) bring up the topic of whether she would prefer to just be a guest, trying to frame it as being with her comfort in mind. Or maybe at least ask if she would mind sharing the Maid/Matron of Honor role with your aunt.

Post # 9
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I think if you are ok with totally dissolving your friendship, you could ask her to step down. Generally, I don’t think it’s very nice to ask someone to step down after asking them to be in the wedding, but in this case she is your only Bridesmaid or Best Man, can’t pay for the dress, and just assumed she is Maid/Matron of Honor. You should have someone up there who you are close to. I would explain gently that you understand the financial burden may be too much, and that it is a big responsibilty. But you can be as nice as possible and she may never want to speak to you again. Just be prepared for that. 

Post # 11
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Hello OP, I was best friends with a girl for years and years and we’d always said that we’d be each others MoH, but a year or so ago we grew apart and we’re just not as close as we were.  I wont be asking her to be my MoH, i’ve actually decided to just have several BMs!  Even if you were her MoH, it doesnt give her automactic rights to be yours, especially if you’ve grown apart and your relationship is now different.  Her excuses etc might be because she doesnt feel as comfortable being your MoH, but even so, the only person you should be true to is yourself! It’s your day 🙂 

Post # 12
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

View original reply
shecha16:  I think you could ask her ways you can ask your Aunt to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, that way if she’s all like “I thought I was your MOH?” Oh no, sorry its your Aunt, you really want to express your appreciation for everything she’s done for you and because of how close you guys are. And that its super important to you. 

Good luck! 

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